Unlock Your Full Potential: Fuel a Lifelong Learning Practice

The Essential Role of Competency in Nourishing Resilient, Adaptive Organizations

The most important thing we can learn is how to learn.

If you are still leading the same way you did twenty years ago—or, let’s face it, in today’s fast-changing world, even five years ago—I probably don’t trust you. The nature of change means that mastery of anything is never complete.

People trust competence. Leaders who stay fresh, relevant, and capable are always engaged in learning new ways of doing things and staying current on ideas and trends. Deep knowledge requires humility, curiosity, and perseverance. 

It is a lifelong journey.

And learning is a journey we all want to be on. It’s what is behind the desire to find meaning in your work. People love to increase their competency. The pursuit of mastery is sparked by the very curiosity that makes us human.

Learning People Lead Learning Organizations

There is a connection between leaders engaged in lifelong learning and learning organizations. That connection, when nurtured, creates an inertia for trust-building: 75% of employees say they would trust their employers more if they were provided with more training opportunities. 

Our teams need us to pave the way for them to develop and grow. They want their curiosity stimulated and their engagement fed so they can feel and do their best.

Learning organizations equip their people to grow their competency.

And the impact makes for an adaptive, resilient organization. Two-thirds of all employees want to learn more about people skills than technical skills. People are hungry to grow not just in their current roles, but in their future ones. 

When we equip our people effectively, we get a whole lot of wins as leaders: higher engagement, lower attrition, and more consistency throughout the organization. 

How do we build learning organizations, where competency is increasing in our people every single day? We begin within.

Quality In, Quality Out

No formal study program or advanced degree can singularly facilitate the knowledge needed for a lifetime. Continuous learning is ongoing, the only way to be the best version of oneself. 

Most know this to be true, yet many don’t know how to prioritize continued learning—or where to start. 

As with our bodies, so with our minds: input always affects output. Quality nourishment—for body and mind—leads to better health, growth, and learning. Look to people you admire and investigate how they endeavor to stay fresh, relevant, and capable.

Last month we talked about Character and the month before that, Consistency. This sequence is no mistake: doing what is right, even when it is hard, and building habits around those priorities, are the path to greater Competency— and quality output. Below are some suggestions for investing in quality input.

  • Read intentionally. Seek nourishing material over fluff or negativity.
  • Take classes. Look into company resources and training. 
  • Seek feedback. Get free advice. 
  • Invest in coaching. Take a deep dive into self-awareness and accelerate growth.
  • Join an association. Choose one that aligns with your passions—not just your profession.
  • Find a mentor. You’re never too old for fresh perspectives or networking support.

Maybe you aren’t sure exactly what you want to invest in developing. If that’s the case, consider this: What are the most important competencies for today’s leaders? 

Competencies of Resilience

When leaders around the world were asked what they felt the most important leadership competencies were, some important themes emerged. 

These most important leadership competencies aren’t surprising, but none are easy to master. 

At the top of the list? “Demonstrating strong ethics and providing a sense of safety.” This is followed closely by “fostering a sense of connection or belonging” and “empowering others to self-organize.” 

The skills needed to possess these competencies aren’t acquired simply or quickly. They are the result of a quest for lifelong learning and evolutionary growth. They are a combination of Character and Consistency: conscious decisions about who you will become and the inertia behind making it so.

As you continue your quest, here’s a gentle reminder: competency isn’t perfection. In the real world, momentum stops and starts. But even a dead end brings us learning. Almost any great leader will tell you that their biggest mistakes led to their greatest insights. We don’t grow without stumbling from time to time, and we certainly don’t grow in a vacuum. 

We need others—and accountability to them—for us to remain humble lifelong learners and to build learning organizations.

Leaders who demonstrate a strong moral compass through transparency and authenticity create trust with employees and customers. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you cultivate your character. If you’re ready to bridge the trust gap, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Closing the Trust Gap—With Character

“Getting Over” Imposter Syndrome and Letting Your Values Guide You

Leaders face a hard truth today: our teams and customers don’t trust us as much as we think they do.

In the United States, leaders perceive that their employees and customers trust them far more than either group actually does. This is what we call the trust gap, and according to the 2024 PwC Trust Survey, that gap is growing.

This is concerning for many reasons but most importantly because trust is critical to our long-term success. Trust building and maintaining improves the bottom line, at least according to 93% of business executives. The burning question, then, is: why the growing gap in trust?

Imposter Syndrome is Widening the Chasm

Melinda French Gates has spoken out recently about feeling like an imposter while at the helm of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. At the heart of her message behind “getting over it” as she continues her leadership journey is learning to accept that “I’ll never know everything… but I know enough to know what I know deeply at a core level and to speak those truths.”

Everybody knows they’re not perfect and yet when I sit in boardrooms, or next to leaders, presidents of companies, and presidents of countries, I see a whole lot of imposter syndrome where leaders are scared to death that they’re going to be found out. 

But guess what? Your teams and your customers already know when you’re not being fully honest or authentic with them. They might not know the details, but they have a far greater sense of when leaders aren’t being transparent than we give them credit for. 

People are far more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt if you’re willing to show a little openness and humility. It’s the human side of you that makes you relatable—that shows your character—and builds trust.

A Leap of Faith: Trusting Them First

Many people find it daunting to be more transparent and more authentic. It means revealing mistakes we think we made or flaws we think we have. We might fear that there will be consequences for our vulnerability.

It isn’t always easy, but character is all about doing what is right over what is easy. 

Think of someone you admire for having high character. Those who stand up for what they believe is right. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther, Greta Thunberg were (are) all just humans with foibles and flaws. They’re also people in possession of a clear sense of their values and a fearlessness to act on those values.

Building Bridges: Honest Practices

The message from the field is loud and clear: people value honesty over all other leadership qualities. So for today’s leaders to close the trust gap, consistently demonstrating they can be transparent and authentic where it counts is crucial.

Transparency is all about sharing information. Build your character pillar with these three strategies for bringing greater transparency to your organization’s culture.

  • Practice clear communication. In a culture of civility and candor, people know exactly what is expected of them and are empowered to contribute. 
  • Keep the team updated—openly and honestly. Leaders who play their cards too closely risk alienating employees who feel resources and secrets are being kept from them.
  • Evaluate and discuss performance. Make time for an ongoing feedback process. Inform people about their performance relative to expectations in a factual and empathetic manner.

Authenticity requires first reflecting on your values. You must understand exactly where your moral compass is pointing before you can demonstrate it to others in a way that resonates with them. 

  • Begin with self-awareness. Knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how others see you deepens your emotional intelligence—the secret sauce of authenticity.
  • Practice vulnerability. Leaders who share their missteps and failures are perceived as more open and less haughty. Start small by sharing lessons you’ve learned from past mistakes.

The road to greater transparency and authenticity can be challenging. But the solution doesn’t lie in pushing away difficult emotions or avoiding challenging situations. Rolling with the ups and downs (and sharing them with team members) will deepen your character, endear your team to you, and begin to close the trust gap.
Leaders who demonstrate a strong moral compass through transparency and authenticity create trust with employees and customers. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you cultivate your character. If you’re ready to bridge the trust gap, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Brick by Brick: The House That Consistency Built

It’s the Little Things That Lay Unshakable Foundations

Small actions done consistently make the biggest difference. If my garden flourishes, it’s because I have tended it carefully over time, not because I dropped seeds in the ground yesterday. 

It is the same in business. The little things we do consistently—no matter what our role—result in a higher level of trust. This trust leads to greater results when our actions, both big and small, are clear, supportive, honest, and able to bring people together.

But consistency can be a double-edged sword.

If our consistent actions work against our goals, they negatively impact progress—and culture. For example, if I’m always late, my people will trust me to be…late. Over time, this lack of commitment becomes a part of the culture.

Your Reputation Is Constructed of Habits

It is unlikely that one highly visible action will be what distinguishes you as trustworthy. The only way to build a reputation as a leader is through consistency—thousands of small opportunities to show, over time, that you can be depended on.

Aristotle said that virtue is formed by actions. The writer Will Durant expounded on this, stating, “We are what we repeatedly do; therefore, excellence is not an act, but a habit.”

Habits are those little actions we take over and over again—so often, in fact, that they impose themselves on our daily routines. Opening doors for others and unloading the dishwasher are habits just as much as biting fingernails or prioritizing screen time over personal interaction. 

Habits are the engine of consistency.

A reputation of any flavor, excellence or otherwise, is constructed of habits. But it’s not always easy to do something consistently, day in and day out—especially when introducing a new habit.

Because old habits are ingrained in our routine, habit change must begin conscientiously and specifically. Try our Trust Edge Habit Change Process for putting yourself on the path to enacting such change. We’ve outlined the process below with some examples:

  1. What habit do I want to change? It can be small, such as being less absorbed in your tasks (and more open with your body language).
  2. How will I benefit from changing? If you’re less absorbed in your tasks, you create more opportunities to connect with others.
  3. What pain will I face from not changing? When you’re always absorbed in your tasks, it’s hard to connect with others, and your team may feel distanced from you; morale could suffer.
  4. What am I replacing this habit with? Think of what you can do differently: “I will make eye contact with (and smile at) everyone I see.”
  5. What resources do I need? Perhaps you need reminders to get started—maybe on your phone or next to your office door.
  6. Who could help me change this habit? Tell a family member or a trusted colleague what you’re up to and ask them to check in with you on a regular basis.
  7. What distractions do I need to remove? How? How? How? Think through the specifics of what is currently behind the old habit. Maybe you’ve taken on too many tasks that are better allocated or you need better time management skills. Maybe both?
  8. What specific steps will I take? How? How? How? Define what actions you need to take: “I’ll stop trying to do three things at once! I’ll plan blocks of time to focus on specific tasks. I’ll also set clearer boundaries and give myself at least ten minutes between agenda items.”
  9. How can I reward target behavior? How? How? How? It feels good to connect with people, and smiles tend to be reciprocal. With greater connection comes more chances for collaboration. Who knows? Maybe you can establish a place in the office where people can be more social!
  10. How can I keep it top of mind? How? How? How? How about reading some of those books you’ve been wanting to read about building cultures of connection?
  11. In 90 days, what will my new habit be? In addition to making eye contact and smiling at your team, you’ll be better able to inquire about their lives. The result: you’ll be more familiar with your team! 

As we form new habits, we slip up from time to time. If you’re trying hard to be on time and have consistently been able to do so, don’t sweat it if you run late to one meeting because of an unexpected traffic jam.

Consistency is all about the small stuff, so start small and spend just a little time on it each day. The time it takes to establish a habit can really vary—be patient with yourself and celebrate the small wins. Persistence and practice are the keys to success.

Scaffolding for New Habits

MIT researchers discovered a pattern in our brains behind every habit. The first step in that pattern is called a “cue.” Cues are triggers that prompt the habit behavior to unfold. For example, leaving a room prompts you to turn off the lights. 

When you think about the resources you need to change a habit (#5), imagine what cues you might need to nudge you toward the habit. 

Imagine you are trying to form a habit of personally recognizing your team members for their contributions. You might create a calendar notification prompting you to set aside ten minutes each day to first reflect on one team member who has contributed in a positive way—big or small—and then to reach out to them, either in person or online, just to tell them how much you appreciated what they did and acknowledge their contribution.

The hard work of establishing habits that support your values begins with a single act. Start small, repeat, and see how quickly the benefits stack up.
Leaders who act and respond consistently see results build up over time. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you create the habits you need to reach your goals. If you’re ready to distinguish yourself as dependable, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Are We Clear? [Probably Not]

Discover the Antidote to Tension, Conflict, and Disengagement.

Last month, we talked about some ways in which purpose-alignment has transformed our work needs. Work is no longer a place where we “just” trade time and talents for money; it’s a place where we seek meaning, impact, and contribution. 

One outcome of this transformation is how easily tensions at work rise when teams feel poorly equipped to deliver their best work, inadequately recognized for their efforts, or unfairly penalized for not having all of the information they need to do their job well.

Untreated, these tensions lead to conflict and disengagement. When it comes to delivering work, nothing causes more tension than a lack of clarity—not even being interrupted or having a heavy workload.

Two Kinds of Clarity

In our work with trust-building organizations, we’ve found that TWO kinds of clarity are needed to empower and build trust in your teams. 

  • Strategic clarity is all about the vision and making sure that everyone’s moving toward the same destination.
  • Communication clarity is related to expectations, both long- and short-term, such as “What are my weekly goals?” or “How should we measure success in this context?”

Both types of clarity build on and feed off of each other. Strategic clarity is the throughline, the common motivator for building long-term momentum and informing shorter-term planning. Communication clarity is agile and responsive to daily discoveries, achievements, and challenges, and uses insights gained and lessons learned to inform the vision.

By the same token, neither strategic clarity nor communication clarity can stand alone. Without a uniting vision, daily tasks lack purpose or motivation. Without proper support and resources, employees are less motivated to execute a vision no matter how talented and skilled they are. You need both.

Compounding Clarity: Keep it Visible

One way to make clear communication, well, clear? Make sure everyone has easy and ready access to the information they need. 

Leaders can use the ODC Method (Outcome-Deadline-Clarifiers) for clear communication about both vision and expectations.

  • Outcome: Whether the goal is big or small, this is where you communicate exactly what it is you are looking for.   
  • Deadline: Provide extremely specific information about expectations, including the due date, what is expected, and who contributes.
  • Clarifiers: Empower all sides to drill down for understanding, repeat what has been heard, and get alignment about expectations.

Once the vision and expectations are delivered and discussed, keep them alive by making them visible in ongoing ways. Empower autonomy by making the vision, strategic plan, and expectations easy to find and access. This might also mean incorporating the vision into daily memos, weekly meetings, quarterly calls, or company-wide rallying cries. The more and differently you communicate the same message, the more likely it will be heard, remembered, and acted upon. 

Clarity Requires Attention to Detail 

Unwinding poor work design can be complex. Like renovating a very old house, each attempted improvement can lead to the discovery of even more problems—all of which need to be addressed to properly do the work (and avoid costly fixes later!).

This means you have to pay attention. 

Repairing work processes that have evolved from a lack of clarity, like frequent task switching, isn’t easy. To get you off on the right foot, start with these three actions to begin to bring more clarity—and relief—to your people.

  • Priority alignment. If any one person has more than three priorities, they can’t focus and might as well have no priorities at all. You’re doing it right when priorities echo across all teams.
  • Key roles and responsibilities. Help your team know their key roles and responsibilities so there is zero ambiguity about what is expected from each.
  • Have a meeting structure. Most people hate meetings because they lack structure, but well-run meetings make people feel supported and inspired.

Want to see how clear your priorities are in your organization? In your next meeting, ask everyone to state what their top priority is that week—and then discuss how (or if) it ties to the overall strategic vision. If anyone struggles, it’s a sign that there is work to be done. 

Start and End with Clarity

Clarity is the cornerstone of a productive and harmonious workplace. By ensuring both strategic and communication clarity, organizations can significantly reduce tension, conflict, and disengagement among their teams. Remember, clarity in purpose and expectations not only builds trust but also sets the foundation for effective communication, collaboration, and overall performance.

Reflect on your own workplace: Is there clarity of purpose in your team or organization? Are project expectations and deadlines communicated clearly? Do you have a clear understanding of your daily tasks?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, remember: We gravitate toward what we understand. Start by aligning priorities, defining key roles and responsibilities, and establishing a structured meeting routine. Clarity isn’t just about avoiding confusion; it’s about creating a work environment where everyone feels empowered, focused, and motivated.

Let’s clear the way forward together—one trust-building conversation at a time.  

Leaders who motivate and support their teams with clarity facilitate autonomy, agility, and authority. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you build a culture of clarity. If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Compassion at Work: The Link Between Empathy and Employee Engagement

Want employees to love working for you? Lead with compassion.

In the past, having a pleasant environment, a predictable routine, and enough compensation was enough to create a stable, satisfied workforce.

This is no longer the case.

Our daily lives and social functioning have shifted dramatically in the past decade, and with this, the purpose of work.

People today seek deeper meaning where they spend the majority of their time. Work no longer “just” funds a life or lifestyle. It’s an important part of that life, a reflection of our values and our vision for the world we want. Finding it (or not) largely determines how satisfied we feel with ourselves and our jobs—and, by extension, how capable our organizations are of thriving.

In other words, more and more of us are seeking out work that reflects what we care about—and more and more people demand that same care in return from our leaders and employers.

Wanted: Room to Ebb and Flow… Or Else

When employees feel ill-equipped or unable to act with the agility, authority, and autonomy required to deliver their best work, tensions rise. 

This inconsistency leads to a dangerous chain reaction: 

  1. Difficulty reacting to day-to-day challenges
  2. Difficulty envisioning one’s future within the organization
  3. Conflict with colleagues, managers, subordinates, and customers

What starts out as an inability to deliver meaningful results could escalate to a serious disruption in team dynamics and cultural health. 

Once a team or an organization reaches the conflict stage, this chain reaction culminates in the very thing threatening the fate of many organizations today: skyrocketing employee disengagement and plummeting retention, productivity, and profits.

The High Cost of Employee Disengagement

There is no disputing that highly engaged companies outperform those with low engagement. Organizations with highly engaged employees are far more productive, more profitable, and have far higher rates of well-being (66%) than organizations with low employee engagement.

According to Gallup’s ongoing employee engagement research, companies with low employee engagement are far more likely to have negative outcomes. 

  • Absenteeism is 81% higher in teams with low employee engagement versus those with high engagement.
  • Safety accidents are 64% higher in teams with low employee engagement versus those with high engagement.
  • Quality defects are 41% higher in teams with low employee engagement versus those with high engagement.

You may be familiar with these and similar stats. But what you may not know is that the antidote to the costly problem of employee conflict and resulting disengagement isn’t more rigorous performance management or an occasional free lunch.

It’s daily compassion

Employee Engagement—Feeling the Difference

Empathy is having the capacity to feel what an experience must be like for someone else. 

Compassion is acting appropriately toward someone for whom we feel empathy.

When conflicts arise, whether it’s a conflict of interest, opinions, priorities, or people, disengaged employees have more in common than they may think. Most of them feel misunderstood, misaligned, overlooked, and overwhelmed. Ignoring these experiences only escalates them—and causes people to burnout, shut down, and turn off. And this apathy leads to disengagement. This can be especially true for otherwise passionate employees who have invested deeply in the work.

To make sure that passion works for—and not against—you, the care has to go both ways.

Our Compassion Model from the Trust Edge 8 Pillars of Trust provides a framework for how to show compassion that is genuine and helpful. Compassionate leaders don’t run from conflict. They run toward it, ready to lay down the LAWS. 

  • L – Listen well. Be committed to hearing and being curious about what is behind the words. If your team is struggling, why? When? Where? How? Don’t assume their answers or fill in their blanks. Give them an opportunity to share honestly and freely.
  • A – Appreciate the other’s experience. It takes courage to be transparent, honest, and open about one’s feelings and experiences—especially in an environment of conflict and disengagement. Acknowledge the effort. Be specific in your feedback so others feel seen and heard.
  • W – Wake up! Be present, minimize distractions, and actively adapt your communication to the needs of each conversation and individual. 
  • Serve selflessly. When you see something you can do to help, don’t stand idle—find a way to help. Compassion is empathy in action

Rather than just addressing symptoms, compassionate leaders listen, empathize, uncover, and act, fueling teams that trust each other to do the right thing.

Leading with Compassion 

Where there are humans, there will be conflict. Conflict is a natural result of combining different perspectives, experiences, education, training, goals, and emotional needs. Conflict is not only inevitable, but it can also be one of the fastest, healthiest, and most energizing ways for teams to engage, innovate, collaborate, and grow.

But only if you care enough to do it right.

Leaders who conquer conflict with compassion create higher employee engagement and all the benefits that come with it. Our Trust Edge Certification provides tools, training, and a thriving community to foster a culture of compassion. If you’re ready to flip the script, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and join our powerful lineup of trusted leaders in the Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Restoring Trust:  The Power of Admitting When You’re Wrong

Sooner or later, trust gets tested. When it does, what happens next?


Today we start this blog with the leading ways to damage trust in our relationships — personal, professional, commercial, or otherwise. Broken trust is difficult to talk about and even harder to recover from. It often feels easier to abandon relationships rather than invest in rebuilding them. This is #cancelculture at its finest—and its worst.

Why do we go to such lengths to avoid rebuilding trust? 

Because it requires a leap into the unknown. Because we don’t want to get hurt (again). Because it’s hard.

Our mind can talk us out of nearly anything—even a relationship that is largely beneficial!—because it is hard-wired to protect us. Unfortunately, our modern society is not what our minds have evolved toward. There is no saber-toothed tiger in the conference room or on the other end of the phone—just a relationship that needs to be repaired. 

Even if we desire to rebuild trust, most of us don’t possess  the skills to do so. Yet. 

This is exactly why you should keep reading.

When You’re Wrong, Admit it.

Achieving success as a trustworthy leader doesn’t mean you never fail or disappoint others. To learn and grow we must possess the capacity to recognize when we are wrong and admit it. A stubborn refusal to accept responsibility for mistakes puts us in disharmony with this necessary growth—and leaves us feeling frustrated. 

“This disharmony creates suffering for us and those around us,” says Dr. Mike Brooks, a psychologist specializing in helping people find greater balance in an increasingly hyperconnected world. “There is great, untapped power in the flexibility inherent within the admission: “I am wrong.’”

According to a recent study, 46% of Americans are waiting for an apology from someone in their life. Could it be you?

Once You Admit, Recommit.

We hear it everywhere and all the time: nobody is perfect. And while it may be comforting that we all make mistakes, it’s always unsettling when it happens—especially when it negatively impacts our relationships.

There is good news here. Studies have shown that humans have a natural tendency to move toward growth. Once fault has been admitted, the most powerful way to rebuild trust is by making—and keeping—a new commitment. Depending on the situation, it may mean starting small and sticking with it. Show up on time. Follow-up and follow through on a task. 

There are several factors that play into this “second chance” mentality. Connection, one of our 8 Pillars of Trust, plays an overwhelming role in creating these environments and supporting the work of repairing trust. And, by definition, it goes both ways!

Re-connection Is Just as Critical as Connection

Leaders can create environments of connection—and the trust it builds—in three ways:

  • See people as humans. Not just people like you or people at work, but people who are in a constant state of growth and transformation. 
  • Assume positive intent. Giving the benefit of the doubt goes a long way in building and rebuilding relationships. 
  • Show you are listening. Four words that instantly increase connection in every conversation: Put. Your. Phones. Away. When you are present, you are presented with stronger bonds, greater grace, and more opportunities to see that the good in others almost always outweighs bad choices, mistakes, and disappointments. 

Building stronger connections is a compounding activity; the more interaction you have, the deeper and greater the connection. 

Creating a Culture of Resilient Trust

There is a correlation between work satisfaction and willingness to be vulnerable. The safer we feel in our environments, performance, and relationships, the more willing we are to take risks—including those necessary to build and rebuild trust.

At the end of the day, we all want to build resilient relationships that can handle the plot twists of our human stories. Growth, flexibility, connection, and harmony are born from trust work—and it generously goes both ways. If you’re looking for a great resource to help you rebuild trust, Chapter 13 of “The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line” has you covered.

As you move on with your day, it is highly likely you have highly regarded, beneficial relationships where you are avoiding the work of rebuilding trust. If you don’t take the first step to reconnect and rebuild, who will? 

Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you the tools, training, and a thriving community to build satisfying cultures of connection. Are you interested? Schedule a 15-minute discovery call today to take your place in our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Relationship Restoration:  The Power of Admitting When You’re Wrong

Transformative Trust Begins with the Choices You Make Right Now

The potential for dishonesty, secrecy, lies, contempt, and rejection can live within all words spoken and all deeds done, from the daily minutiae to the defining moments. These are the things that damage or break trust. 

And in times of change the possibility of distrust and mistrust increases significantly.

Broken trust is difficult to talk about and even harder to recover from. It often feels easier to abandon relationships rather than invest in rebuilding them. This is #cancelculture, after all.

Why do we avoid it? Because the work of repairing trust requires a leap into the unknown. Our minds can talk us out of nearly anything because they are hard-wired to protect us. But the society we live in today is not the one our minds have evolved for. There is no saber-toothed tiger in the conference room or on the other end of the phone—just a relationship that needs to be repaired. 

Even if we desire to rebuild trust, we don’t often have the skills—yet. 

This is exactly why you should keep reading.

When You’re Wrong, Admit it.

Achieving success doesn’t mean you never fail or disappoint others. To learn and grow we must possess the capacity to recognize when we are wrong. Stubborn, inflexible refusal to accept when we are wrong puts us in disharmony with change and leaves us feeling frustrated.

“This disharmony creates suffering for us and those around us,” says Dr. Mike Brooks, a psychologist specialized in helping people find greater balance in an increasingly hyperconnected world. “There is great, untapped power in the flexibility inherent within the admission: “I am wrong.’”

This is where repairing trust begins.

When Others Are Wrong, Grow Together.

We hear it everywhere and all the time: nobody is perfect. Everyone occasionally does something that, on reflection, they aren’t proud of.

Studies have shown that humans have a natural tendency to move toward growth. And there’s no better way to show someone whose trust we have damaged that we’ve grown by making—and keeping—a new commitment. This is the most powerful way to mend a broken trust.

In supportive social contexts, people’s natural tendency toward growth is supported—and defensive behaviors are thwarted. This means that supportive social contexts are critical to repairing trust. Connection, one of our 8 Pillars of Trust, plays an overwhelming role in creating these environments and facilitating the work of repairing trust. 

Re-connection Is Just as Critical as Connection

Leaders can create environments of connection—and the inherent collaboration it brings—in three ways:

  • See people as humans. Not just people like you or people at work, but people who are in a constant state of growth and transformation. 
  • Assume Positive Intent. Giving the benefit of the doubt goes a long way in building and rebuilding relationships.
  • Show you are listening. Put the phone down and really listen. In fact, take it off the table. Put it away. People can tell when you’re really present and that leads to stronger bonds, greater grace, and more opportunities to remind ourselves that the good in others almost always outweighs bad choices, mistakes, and disappointments. 

Building stronger connections is a compounding activity: the more interaction you have, the deeper and greater connection you have. And the higher likelihood you are building trust that stands the test of human behavior.

Building Cultures of Connection

There is also a correlation between your satisfaction at work and your willingness to be vulnerable. Owning up to our mistakes and nurturing connections not only improves our relationships with others, it leads to deeper satisfaction in our work and personal lives.

According to the 2023 Populace Success Index, most Americans believe that success is about a meaningful life, not getting rich. The Index’s findings also show we believe that others perceive the opposite. 

At the end of the day, we all want to build resilient relationships. Growth, flexibility, connection, and harmony are born from the work of repairing trust—and it generously goes both ways. If you’re looking for a great resource for helping you to rebuild trust, check out “The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line”—chapter thirteen is all about rebuilding trust.

As you move on with your day, it is highly likely you have relationships that you are avoiding the work of rebuilding trust. It could be with a friend, a partner, a team, or your customers and clients. If you don’t take the first step to reconnect and rebuild, who will?Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you the tools, training, and a thriving community to build satisfying cultures of connection. Are you interested? Schedule a 15-minute discovery call today to take your place in our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

I’ve Got Your Back: Why Diversity Initiatives Need a Trust-Building Framework

Being different isn’t always easy. In organizational settings, small differences can lead to big problems if managers are unable to recognize, accept, and address the challenges posed by differences among their workforce. The tradeoff for creating an environment that embraces and supports diversity, however, is enormous: increased innovation, performance, and resilience to name just three. 

The World Economic Forum, OECD, UNICEF, and other global agencies deeply invested in the workforce of the future have each defined numerous transferable skills that are most necessary for a volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous future. 

And well-functioning diverse workforces can deliver on ALL of these skills.

The Power of Diversity Lives in What We Value

Alignment is created when we can connect on common ground. This means shining a light on shared values like work ethic and commitment to the company mission. Shifting culture doesn’t happen overnight, but it can grow quickly when a forum for candor is created by a leader who is willing to acknowledge where differences exist and how they are getting in the way. Without first addressing differences, a leader can easily become mired down in arguments and conflict.

People of all ages value feeling seen, heard, and safe. Creating an environment of trust requires helping people identify and elaborate on shared values. Highly productive working teams function well together because of what they have in common—not because of what they don’t.

Leaders who build their teams based on alignment rather than differences will foster the benefits of diversity. In so doing, their workforce can flourish and grow with them, future-proofing their organization in the process.

Diversity Fuels Higher Performance

Trust is the glue that holds diverse groups together. Knowing that your coworkers “have your back” makes you less fearful of taking risks. It also gives people the security the need to perform, create, and solve—and the correlation between this safeguard and high performance is clear.

Some of the benefits of a diverse workplace with shared values include:

  • Improved critical thinking and reasoning
  • Originality and innovation
  • Complex problem-solving
  • Increased resilience and adaptability
  • Enhanced social influence

Data from our 2023 Trust Outlook, indicates that people from all over the world are embracing the benefits of a diverse workforce and want to align with others who share their values.

Featured Pillar of Trust: Competency

Staying the same doesn’t lead to growth—nor does it inspire it. Nobody wants to learn from a teacher who has been teaching the same things in the same way their entire career. Nobody wants to follow a leader who hasn’t adapted their leadership style to reflect the needs of their current team. Nobody seeks out a company with a reputation for maintaining an expired status quo.

People have confidence in those who stay fresh, relevant, and capable. This goes for entire organizations as much as individual leaders.

Trust Exercise: Make a habit of exposing yourself often to fresh information, opinions, and perspectives.

The humble, curious, and teachable person is always asking questions, learning new ways of doing things and staying current on trends and new ideas. Leaders who walk the proverbial walk can turn differences into alignment, and diversity into performance.

Invest in Trust-Building

Whether your organization has an established DEI program or is only beginning to see the value of these drivers, trust-building initiatives can help overcome the challenges posed by differences and elevate the benefits of diversity in your organization.

The Trust Edge Certification Program provides the tools, training, and—perhaps most valuable of all—the community to create high-performing cultures of trust. Interested in meeting some of our Trust Edge Certified Partners? Visit our Certified Directory.

Are you interested in the Trust Edge Certification Program? Schedule a 15-minute discovery call today to take your place in our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

  1. https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/10/top-10-work-skills-of-tomorrow-how-long-it-takes-to-learn-them/
  2. https://www.oecd.org/education/2030-project/teaching-and-learning/learning/skills/Skills_for_2030_concept_note.pdf
  3. https://www.unicef.org/lac/media/31591/file/The%2012%20Transferable%20Skills.pdf

Ep. 111: Erwin McManus on Why It Doesn’t Take a Genius to Think Like One

In this episode, David sits down with Erwin McManus, renowned life architect, award-winning author, and artist, to discuss why it doesn’t take a genius to think like one.

Buy David’s book “Trusted Leader”: https://amzn.to/3luyqf1

David’s Company: https://trustedge.com/

Erwin’s Bio:

Erwin Raphael McManus is a renowned life architect, award-winning author, and artist. With over one million book sales and translations into multiple languages, he has captivated audiences in stadiums across seventy countries on five continents.

His creative expertise has extended to consulting for esteemed organizations, from the NFL to the Pentagon. For three decades, McManus has advised CEOs, athletes, celebrities, and billion-dollar companies, helping them overcome limitations and unlock their personal genius.

As the founder and lead pastor of Mosaic, a global spiritual movement, he has inspired millions and leads impactful humanitarian initiatives alongside his wife, Kim. McManus continues to coach leaders and entrepreneurs worldwide, sharing his wisdom through McManus Mastermind and The Seven Frequencies of Communication.

Erwin’s Links:
Website: https://www.erwinmcmanus.com/
“Mind Shift” by Erwin Raphael McManus: https://a.co/d/binMzUe
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erwinmcmanus/?hl=en
Twitter: https://twitter.com/erwinmcmanus
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/erwinmcmanus
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ErwinRaphaelMcManus

Key Quotes:

1. “Oftentimes, our internal mental structures limit the life that we live, that we experience, that we know.”
2. “You have to decide to stop living a life of obligation and to live a life of intention.”
3. “Bad choices are easy, and good choices are hard.”
4. “You will never accidentally become the best version of yourself.”
5. “The only language your brain listens to is action.”
6. “Courage is actually an extension of integrity.”
7. “Courage is not the absence of fear but the absence of self.”
8. “Humility actually builds integrity.”
9. “Wisdom doesn’t come because you’ve gone through a lot. Wisdom comes because you’ve learned through the lot you’ve gone through.”
10. “Talent is a hallucinogen.”
11. “Only character gives you the infrastructure for sustained success.”
12. “Everyone has to find their pace.”

Links Mentioned In The Episode:
“Mind Shift” by Erwin Raphael McManus: https://a.co/d/binMzUe

Buy David’s Book “Trusted Leader”: https://amzn.to/3luyqf1

David’s Links:
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/36AXtp9
Follow us on Facebook: https://bit.ly/2S9O6mj
Follow David on Twitter: https://bit.ly/2BEXgla
Follow David on LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/2Xbsg5q
Follow David on Instagram: https://bit.ly/2QDFOE5

Show Transcript

David:
Welcome to the Trusted Leader Show. It’s David Horsager, and I’m super thrilled to have our guest on today. I heard him speak probably 30 years ago for the first time. He’s written several books since then. He is, you know, he’s consultant to folks in the NFL and the Pentagon, and he’s a leadership coach, and he’s written a load of award-winning books. He’s also pastor of a movement mosaic in LA, where I’m talking to him from today. but please welcome Erwin McManus. Thanks for being here, bud.

Erwin McManus:
David, it’s so good to be with you. I spent so much time in Minnesota over the years and it’s amazing what you guys are doing. I didn’t realize the breadth of your impact. It’s pretty extraordinary.

David:
Well, thank you. We’re just grateful to be a part of this. So I’m gonna get into your new book and everything a little bit, but before we do, you know, some people, a lot of people know about you. You’ve spoken all over the world. We’ve been on some similar stages, but what, tell us, you know, give us the three top things that maybe people that don’t know or would ban us. What about you?

Erwin McManus:
Wow, my life is so private and so public. I don’t know what people don’t know

David:
Hey.

Erwin McManus:
about me. But I guess if people don’t know much about me, I’m actually an immigrant from El Salvador. Spanish was my first language and my name’s an alias. And so those might be three things that are a little bit different than a lot of people.

David:
That’s, there you go. That’s fun. What do you love? Like what’s a, I don’t need to get into it too long, but what do you love to do when you’re not writing books, leading people and coaching and running a, you know, your family and life, what do you love to do?

Erwin McManus:
Anything competitive.

David:
Yeah.

Erwin McManus:
I love playing basketball and I love playing chess.

David:
Oh good.

Erwin McManus:
And yeah, so I learned how to play chess when I was three years old. And so it’s been a part of my life, all of my life. And so that’s one thing I love to do. And I love to play basketball, paddle tennis, spadell, pickleball, any sport where there’s a winner and a loser.

David:
There you go. I love those two. Everything

Erwin McManus:
Yeah.

David:
you named. I love it. Well, let’s get into this a little bit. I’m going to go to the book and then we’ll go backwards. I’m just a curious guy. I want to keep learning. Before I do, you know, I think this is a thing a lot. We talk about so much about authenticity and trust and there’s so many people that look like this, but they look trusted, but they’re not, you know, all these kind of things. What about, who are, you know, you’re leading so many others. Who do you go to? Who do you get led by? Who do you get? pouring into you, who do you get mentored by?

Erwin McManus:
Well, David, one thing is I’m 65 years old. And so I’ve been around a long time. And as you go through different phases in your life, you wanna access different aspects of learning. And so I think when you’re in your 20s, you wanna make sure you’re accessing people who have a lot more experience and have a huge texture of their life journey. When you’re older, you wanna make sure you’re accessing people who maybe have a pulse on the emerging cultures that you may not be as aware of. And so the people that really are most influential in my life are my son Aaron, who’s 35, my daughter Mariah, who’s 31. They’re both extraordinary leaders and really wonderful people. And they both work really closely with me in different arenas of life. And they’re probably the two most influential people in my life in the way that I process information, what I pay attention to, what I’m looking at, where I’m focusing my time and energy.

David:
Love it. Let’s jump right in on the book. You got the new book coming out, Mind Shift. You’ve had some other amazing books and just, we have Mutual Friend and John Gordon and many others, but tell me, give us the overall, in fact, I was taken by something as I was reading this whole idea that, where is it? Oh yeah, near life. Many of us have near life experiences. What do you mean?

Erwin McManus:
Yeah, you know, when I was opening up the beginning of the book, in my books, I’m almost always have a chapter zero. And chapter zero is the chapter where I’m invited you to see reality from a different perspective. And one of the things I looked at in chapter zero was how oftentimes our internal mental structures limit the life that we live, that we experience, that we know. And we don’t even realize that we’re the self-limiting. Barriers that are keeping us from the life we long for we think it’s other people. It’s other institutions It’s the circumstances it’s the world around us It’s what our parents didn’t do or what they did do and so oftentimes When we were trapped and we’re just existing we tend to think that The prison that we’re living inside of was created by someone else When we actually live fully when we’re fully alive when we’re having near-life experiences, we actually take responsibility for our lives and realize that the ceiling is us.

David:
Absolutely. Interesting. So every once again mind shift, it doesn’t take a genius to think like one and I think there’s a there’s a lot more to it But basically you jump into these 12 frameworks and

Erwin McManus:
Mm-hmm.

David:
they’re intriguing and I want us to jump into a couple of them You know, we’re gonna we’re gonna get people to go get the book. That’s the really not the goal We just care about truth getting out there, but there’s a lot in here. We’re not gonna cover today So let’s just scratch the surface and Everybody go get mind shift. It doesn’t take a genius to think like one. But that, a couple, I’m gonna pull out a couple here and then you can jump into other ones you want. There’s a lot of overlap with our trust work, things like gratitude that you talk about and other things, but you have to choose between acceptance and uniqueness. Tell me more.

Erwin McManus:
Yeah, absolutely. When I look at my own life journey, and by the way, one of the questions that drove me to write this book is that I would constantly get asked this question. What would you say to your 25 year old self? That just seemed to be everyone’s favorite question. What would you say to your 25 year old self? And when I wrote this book, I was writing, having a conversation with myself at 25 going, if I just understood this, it would have, it would have changed my life faster.

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
It would accelerated my journey into the future that I imagined and longed for. It would accelerated my own journey to becoming the person I wanted to become. And one of the things I noticed very early on is that you have to decide to stop living a life of obligation and to live a life of intention. And that as long as you’re living a life of obligation, you’re being shaped, your identity, your values. your direction is being shaped by the opinion of others and it’s it then you’re being dominated by external factors but when you begin to live a life of intention now you’re making decisions based on values and principles and your own internal compass which is really significant and so when i’m writing that section and i i’m really talking about how you need to begin to understand that at one point at some point in your life you got to stop living for the opinion and applause of others and begin to live your life for your own deep sense of intention and calling.

David:
What do you do? You know, we’re in businesses, you and I both have been on, you know, a lot of our lives and a lot of what we do is on a big stage or on a stage at least, and in front of people. And, you know, it’s like we wanna please them. And yet you and I both seen people in our industry fail and fall because they’ve, in fact, at least I’ve seen, I don’t wanna speak before you, but people in our space even use the audience as therapy and I call that abusing the audience. But… But what do you do? There is this thing of pleasing them, serving them. And frankly, it’s not so bad to be obligated to something. That’s a service heart. That’s a serving others heart, right? Not just my own intention, kumbaya, but this view of like, I’m obligated to something bigger than myself. So let’s get a little differentiation there.

Erwin McManus:
Yeah, I honestly I hate the word obligation. It’s just it’s not something that

David:
but

Erwin McManus:
I

David:
you

Erwin McManus:
live

David:
are

Erwin McManus:
with.

David:
obligated

Erwin McManus:
Yeah,

David:
to use it.

Erwin McManus:
I just think whenever a person is living out of obligation, it’s a much lower level of intention. And, and, like, I’m not obligated to be married. I’ve been married for 40 years. And

David:
Congratulations.

Erwin McManus:
but it’s but I have a commitment and an intention.

David:
Yep.

Erwin McManus:
And but not an obligation. My wife is not an obligation to me. She’s a responsibility. She’s an intention, she’s a commitment, and

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
it’s a very, very different thing.

David:
Yeah.

Erwin McManus:
And because obligation in some sense implies there’s no love involved. Obligation means that something you’re forced to do, not something you choose to do. And I think whenever a person uses a language where they’re not choosing,

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
they’re actually becoming powerless and living within a victimized narrative. And I just wanna destroy

David:
So

Erwin McManus:
that in people’s lives.

David:
I love that and all this sounds great, right? But how do we actually do it? And I watched you in a coaching session with the USFL, talking through some of this with those athletes, but how do you actually do this? Like, okay, it’s great, be more grateful. Okay, it’s great, do this thing. Like how do I actually live more intentional, let’s say? How do I do it? What do I take and how do I make the move?

Erwin McManus:
Usually it begins with making commitments to yourself and then keeping them. And you have to, you know, just

David:
totally.

Erwin McManus:
start in some small space. You know, I’m 65 and physical health isn’t something that happens accidentally. You know, and you can’t be 65 and still run and lift weights and live a physical, physically active life without discipline, without commitments. And let me tell you, everything in life tries to steal all my time to get into the gym. Everything in life tries to steal my time from getting physical exercise. And it’s amazing how gravity pulls pizza in my direction. You know,

David:
Hahaha.

Erwin McManus:
like, you know, it’s like there’s like a force that brings donuts and carbs into my life. And… I have to actually choose to push those aside, at least some, and eat healthy foods.

David:
Right.

Erwin McManus:
And one of the things I’ve noticed about us as humans, and this is where I feel like we’re factory defects, is that bad choices are easy and good choices are hard.

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
And it’s true across every domain in life. Having bad character is easy. is hard.

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
Being a bad employee is actually incredibly easy. You don’t have to practice.

David:
No doubt.

Erwin McManus:
Being a great employee takes incredible discipline. It’s incredibly hard. And by the way, being a good husband, it’s really, really hard. Being a bad husband is so easy. It’s like a gift. Yeah.

David:
Yeah, we’ve tried it.

Erwin McManus:
And so I think you have to resolve that. The worst expression of yourself has a gravitational pull that when you choose nothing, you become that.

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
You will never accidentally become the best version of yourself. So when you ask me, how do I start? How do I get all that? You start with action. Your

David:
Yeah.

Erwin McManus:
brain, I would say like your brain knows when you’re lying to other people and it also knows when you’re lying to you.

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
And when you get up and you make a resolution, You know, I’m going to change my life. I’m going to start walking, whatever, 10,000 steps every day, or I’m going to, you know, stop eating carbs or whatever

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
it is. So I’m going to stop having negative thoughts or I’m going to stop using profanity or whatever it may be. Your brain knows you’re lying to you.

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
The only language your brain listens to is action. And when you act differently than you have before, now your brain begins to believe you that you’re resolved. to take on a new pattern for life.

David:
I love that. The only language your brain listens to is action. The contribution pillar in our trust framework, you know, you said something else. We talk about this all the time. We have a framework for how trust is rebuilt. But the end, the last of the 10 things, the most important thing, and really the only way to rebuild trust, people often ask us, how do you rebuild trust? Whether you’re a big company with an oil spill or you’re an individual that lost trust, right? How do you rebuild trust? Well, one thing we say is it’s not the apology. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize, open the door, but you never rebuild trust in the apology. You only rebuild trust when you make and keep a new commitment, which is exactly what you said. And that’s what trusting yourself. You hear the idea to love your neighbors yourself, find someone who doesn’t love themselves at all. You find someone who doesn’t love very well. And it’s the same with trust. If you don’t make commitments to yourself, you don’t trust yourself well, and then you poison the team. So very interesting. So you said some things, and I don’t, I can’t remember which framework it’s under, but you kind of touched on it right now, but you said some things before in talking to those athletes and in some of what I’ve read about the little things. We have a sign up in our office 20 feet from me. It’s a little things done consistently to make the biggest difference. But you said something about discipline. It was like being faithful in the little things. What was the framework that comes under? It’s all about people. One of the frameworks in the book. but it was just a lot about the little things or discipline matters more than ever. Was that under a certain framework?

Erwin McManus:
I can’t remember what chapter that was in, but it’s actually a part of a larger framework called the character matrix, where I talk about how virtues are actually developed. Because one of the challenges sometimes that will tell people, you need to have courage, but we have no way of giving them a process to become courageous. And so in that, I take people through a process where I help them see that courage actually is an extension of integrity, and that courage is not the absence of fear, but the absence of self. But then you go, okay, how do I build integrity? And no one ever tells you how to build integrity. And they just tell you to have integrity. And a part of what this process that shows them that humility actually builds integrity and integrity builds courage. And in the same way, when you’re looking at faithfulness, which you’re talking about the details, that process is actually moving us toward wisdom. How do you gain wisdom? Well, wisdom comes from perseverance. And perseverance actually comes from faithfulness. And so when you’re faithful in the small things, when you take on the basic disciplines of life, you actually begin to develop a resilience that allows you to persevere hard times. And it’s when you persevere the crisis and the challenge and the conflict and the pain of life, that’s actually when you develop wisdom. You can have a lot of experiences and still be a fool and never actually gained wisdom. And wisdom doesn’t come because you’ve gone through a lot. Wisdom comes because you’ve learned through the lot you’ve gone through.

David:
Yeah, very good. What do you think? Let’s move to another one. You say you say this in the book talent is a hallucinate hallucinasi. Let’s see. hallucinogen.

Erwin McManus:
Talented, yeah, oh yeah,

David:
Yeah,

Erwin McManus:
hallucinogen,

David:
yeah. All right.

Erwin McManus:
yeah.

David:
Yeah.

Erwin McManus:
Yeah, it’s really, to me, this is so important because I work with a lot of top tier people and they’re the best in the world at what they do. And one of the things you find is that when people have extraordinary talent at a young age, external structures are built around their life to make sure they succeed. because people want to extract all the talent out of them. But the moment those structures are gone, they collapse. That’s why about 75% of pro football players are drug addicted, divorced, dead or bankrupt within five years after they leave the NFL. It’s because they were prodigies, they were talents as young children, talents throughout middle school, high school and college. So external structures were built around them that pulled out the success. Optimize that success and they thought they had the internal structures for success But they did not and the

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
moment those scaffolds are removed their lives collapse Talent is a hallucinogen because it convinces you the talent is what makes the difference between being great and being extraordinary and achieving a level of greatness that’s historic and that it will sustain success only character Gives you the infrastructure for sustained success Talent actually gives you the environment where you do not need to build the internal structures for success Talent may be the most dangerous thing a person ever has because they don’t have to go through the time and pain and struggle and suffering of building the internal structures for success

David:
Wow. Yeah. So true. I’ve seen that. You’ve seen it too. I was, uh, you know, uh, Tim Keller passed away not too long ago, but the, we were talking about some, a pastor that had, uh, had a massive audience that had fallen and he was in his 20 or 27 or something like that. He was asked to speak at pastors conferences. And here he is 20 say hadn’t that built the, he hadn’t built the character to deal with this. Whereas Keller said it was little by little, you know, for him, it built over 30, 40, 50 years where his speaking as audience grew and he had to build character with it. And in full humility, he talked about that, but his humility, but many people in any realm, they get a stage too early, they didn’t have to build, they didn’t build the character, have the infrastructure. We see this all the time, whether it’s in speaking or sports or coaching or whatnot.

Erwin McManus:
Mm-hmm.

David:
Is there a story, you know, you’ve coached some amazing folks and leaders. Is there a story you can tell like this is someone this they started here and they actually made a mindset shift here and here’s what happened. Something about that process noticing it, helping it, coaching it.

Erwin McManus:
It’s a little hard to pull a story from some of the people I coach, but

David:
Why is that? Because you don’t have to say their names, but why is it hard to…

Erwin McManus:
Yeah,

David:
Why

Erwin McManus:
well,

David:
is

Erwin McManus:
because

David:
it hard? Because… yeah.

Erwin McManus:
their roles are so specific,

David:
Okay, yep.

Erwin McManus:
it would be hard not to without filling the blanks, have everyone know how to fill in the blanks. But I will say something. And this is as a really interesting, like a spiritual dynamic to it. I coach a business guy named Edwin. And Edwin Oriabe is like a really extraordinary person. His family is Colombian. His parents were part of the Colombian drug cartel. His parents were both arrested, I think, by the FBI. And later his dad was imprisoned as a drug lord. And then he went from having a family that was in the cartel, and then next thing he’s in abject poverty and living in South LA. And so he has to find a job at 14 and can’t get hired anywhere, and finally gets a job, and within 10 years buys the company. that he didn’t get hired for first. And when I met him, he was wild, you know, Lamborghinis, the whole, you know, the jet setting, the cars, he was married, but you know, he’s married to a celebrity and then he was having affairs everywhere. And you know, he was known for partying. He was known for drinking and for, he would travel as a rock musician for several years. And just every, he was trying to live the idyllic life. of the bachelor guy, even when he was married, and had a life-changing transformation through an encounter with Jesus. And I’ve had the great privilege of mentoring him, and I started working in his company, helping him elevate his company into the hundreds of millions. And his top salesman, who just this year made $5.2 million, that’s a sales guy. asked to zoom with me and we zoom and he says, you know, I’ve been on private planes because he’s already, this kid’s already a millionaire and he’s 34 and he said, you know, I was flying around on the private plane with my friends and we’re all partying and I realized all I know about them is that they’re partying and I realized all they knew about me is that I’m partying. So he zooms with me and he says, hey, I wanna become not like Edwin was, I wanna become like Edwin is.

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
And then he named another business guy named Ed Milet and he goes, I want to become like Ed Milet and you and Edwin, how do I do that? And it was this great Zoom conversation where we actually said, hey, this is no longer a business call. Because what Edwin and Ed and I have in common is a life-changing relationship with Jesus. And so I went through and just walked him through that. And then that Zoom call, he actually makes a decision to become a follower of Christ. And the reason I tell you this story is because when you ask me what mind shift that I see in a person, I didn’t just see a mind shift. I saw life shift in Edwin and he’s running this massive company. He’s aspirational. All the sales force in his company, the whatever, the thousand of them, they all want to become him. And when he was like drinking and womanizing and partying and, you know, living the nightlife, they all wanted to be like him.

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
And then when he had this radical shift, and now he’s the most generous guy in the world. And when he talks about making hundreds of millions of dollars, he doesn’t talk about buying cars anymore or buying airplanes or buying yachts. He still likes them and occasionally

David:
Yes.

Erwin McManus:
still buys them. But is that what he’s aspiring people toward? He talks about getting to be generous, about

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
serving mosaic and about investing money to build a school like in Africa or, and, and his entire mind shift has transformed the organizational culture of the whole company.

David:
Mm-hmm.

Erwin McManus:
And that for me is the epitome of what I love to do, to watch the culture change, not just so the company can make a great deal more money, which I love helping companies do that because I want good people to have millions because they’re going to use it well and billions. But I also want to create a culture. where the aspirational epicenter is the person we’re becoming, not the toys we’re buying.

David:
Yeah, I love that. Well, tell me one more thing, tell this audience one more thing you want everybody to know from the book. What’s one more idea or one part you’re most passionate about?

Erwin McManus:
First of all, I really love this book. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve had a chance to write about 12 books in my life, and this is the first social psychology book, and it’s in the business section. It’s in the personal development section of the bookstores. And I wrote it very specifically to help destroy internal limitations. And there are certain chapters that I think are really pivotal, but they’ll be pivotal for different people. Like chapter three. says you can’t take everyone with you. And I think this is a really significant chapter for a lot of people who are so genuinely good hearted. And they don’t wanna leave anyone behind. And every time their friends speak negatively into their life when they try to change, they go back to their previous form. Someone asked me this past week, is it lonely at the top? And I said, you know, I do think I’m at the top of my game. And in a lot of places I get to be the top. in my field, but it’s not lonely at the top. I actually have more friends now than I’ve ever had my entire life. Where it’s lonely is in the transitions. Because when you’re one way in your life and you have friends who like you that way, and then you decide to add more discipline to your life, you decide to become more ambitious, you decide to sacrifice more so you can accomplish more, your friends will not cheer you on. they will not celebrate you changing. In fact, they’re gonna say to you, you’ve changed. But what they’re really upset about is that you’ve grown. Because when you grow, it becomes an indictment that they’re not growing. And when you elevate, you will lose that friendship circle. But you will not gain a new one because you haven’t earned the respect of that new circle. And you’ve lost the trust of the last circle, so now you’re alone. And I think that’s where a lot of people give up because the loneliness. of those dynamic transitions become more than they can bear. And one of the things you want to find are the people in your life who celebrate the best version of you. They don’t celebrate who you are, they celebrate who you’re becoming. And I think that’s really, really important. And throughout my life, my wife and I, we’ve been here in LA for 30-something years, and we always had this ideal sense that we would do life forever with people. They would do life with us forever. We would invest in them and they’d stay. It just was never real. And it didn’t mean that the relationships weren’t real. You have to realize that a lot of people come through your life and they’re seasonal and they’re not being disloyal when they leave. It’s just time for them to do something new or fresh or different in their life. And I have literally had friends who I sat down with and I said, hey, we were so close last year. Like what happened? Cause you guys sort of drifted from us and You’re still in the community. We see you have great friendships, and we just want to know if we did something. And I remember it was one couple, one went to Harvard and the other went to Duke, two of the most prestigious schools in the world. And they said, we really love you guys, but whenever we were close to you, we felt so much weight to become more, to accomplish more, to do more with our life. And we said, well, we never told you that. you should do more or they said, no, just by virtue of the way you live your life would make us leave with the sense we need to do more. And I said, I have never felt more comfortable with you choosing other friends. And because they chose friends who had less ambition, who had less drive. Look, I have massive drive. I get up in the morning wanting to change the world. I’ve taken psychological assessments on energy. and I have almost a maximum amount of measurable human energy. I’ve always been like this. I used to live on basically four hours of sleep a night, not because I had to. That’s just all I needed. I realized the rest of the world isn’t like me and everyone has to find their pace. Everyone has to find, you know, the right intensity of their life. And, and I want to celebrate that for you, but I don’t want your slower pace to measure what is actually spiritual. or appropriate or healthy. I wanna, you know, I’m a Navy SEAL, you know, and I’m a top gun pilot and I wanna fly with those people. And if you want to keep elevating in your life, you better accept transitional loneliness. But

David:
Hmm.

Erwin McManus:
if you do it right and you love people and you serve people, you’ll find friendships at every level along the way.

David:
Good word. Well, there’s a lot more here. Everybody, we could talk more about it. A lot of other leadership tips, a lot of other ideas. The book, Mind Shift, it doesn’t take a genius to think like Juan, the 12 framework Mind Shifts. It’s just a fantastic book from a fantastic person. And thanks for your leadership and the legacy you’ve left in the world. touching me and others and you know, we got one final question on a trusted leader show and that is Who’s the leader you trust and why?

Erwin McManus:
When I saw your question, you know, my mind always goes to divergent places because I wanted to jokingly try to pick like some extreme political leader that would upset half your audience, you know? And, you know, say either Obama or to say Trump. And I realized something really quickly. There’s a difference between a leader you trust and a leader you agree with. And a lot of times people choose a leader they agree with, even though they don’t trust them. And a lot of times we don’t choose the person we trust because we don’t agree with them. And we have to decide what actually has a higher value for us. But my answer to your question is the president of El Salvador, Naim Boukeli. I was born in El Salvador, I’m a citizen of El Salvador. He has transformed a country that for 40 years had the highest murder rate in the world. The most notorious gang in the world, MS-13, came out of El Salvador. After civil war, the country has been torn to pieces through the most violent gangs and the most unsafe country on the planet. And Bukele is, I think, around 38 years old and three and a half years has transformed the country. The whole nation celebrated when they had one day without a murder. Now they’ve had 365 days without a murder. And the United Nations… United States, the LA Times, you know, all the liberal press has hated Bukele because he went through the country and arrested around 6,000 gang members. And he has taken on the ire of the political world to bring peace and prosperity to a country that never had a future. And when you look at Naim Bokehli and his wife, they’re like a John and Jackie Kennedy, you know? And his wife was a ballerina. They have a beautiful little girl. And they put a computer in the hands of every child in the entire nation so that every child would have access to the internet and to education. And I just really admire him. I love what he’s doing. I know it’s massively controversial. And I’m really… I understand two weeks I’m going to speak in El Salvador at an event where he’s speaking and I’m speaking and I consider it one of the highlights of my life.

David:
Wow. Good stuff. How do we end on anything else? First time he’s been used and I love to hear that. Man, it’s been a treat. There’s so much more. I’ve got 50 more questions, but hey, for everybody out there, you know the deal. Erwin McManus, you can find out more online. You’re going to look at the show notes for his books and his newest book and more about where to find more about him on the show notes, trustedleadershow.com. And of course, this has been the Trusted Leader Show. Until next time, stay trusted.

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