Author: Gabe Walker

In a world that feels increasingly disconnected, the right questions—and a willingness to listen—can bring people, solutions, and better results closer than ever.

What if the solution to your biggest challenges—at work or at home—wasn’t an answer at all, but a question?

Not a dodge. Not a delay. But one of the most underused—and highest-return—strategies we have: genuine, curiosity-led conversations.

Right now, leaders are navigating challenges that seem more complex by the day:

• Team misalignment and siloed communication
• Burnout and disengagement
• Resistance to change and technology
• Lack of buy-in or clarity
• Missed deadlines and surface-level collaboration

And while there’s no silver bullet, I’ve always been told this: if you want better answers, you need to ask better questions.

Questions that make people feel seen. Questions that turn insight into action. Ones that shift conversations from transactional to transformational. 

Because while this post is about connection at its core, it’s not just about fighting loneliness. 

It’s about unlocking one of the strongest assets every company, community, and family has—each other.

Why You Should Question Real Connections

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received came from a mentor, Patricia Fripp. She said, “The key to connection is conversation. The key to conversation is questions.” I’ve seen that play out time and time again.

Whether I’m leading a workshop, sitting down with an executive team before delivering a keynote, or having dinner with my family—asking the right question changes everything. 

But what makes a question “right”?

At the heart of every strong relationship—at work, at home, in life—is the feeling of being truly seen and heard. Great questions do that. They challenge assumptions and disrupt stale patterns. 

They show we care enough to slow down, truly listen, and stay open to a perspective or answer we didn’t already have packaged and ready to go.

That kind of curiosity isn’t soft. It’s strategic. It leads to better decisions, stronger teams, and more meaningful progress. In a world where everyone’s rushing to offer answers, the people who pause to ask a thoughtful question stand out—and build trust faster.

In my experience, questions fall into two categories: Discovery Questions and Solution Questions. Each plays a critical role in deepening connection and moving things forward.

Let’s start with Discovery.

Discovery Questions: Build the Bridge Before You Cross It

Before you can solve a problem, you have to understand it. And before you can lead someone, you have to see them. 

That’s where Discovery Questions come in.

These are the kinds of questions that uncover someone’s perspective, hopes, frustrations, or unspoken expectations. They’re not about fixing. They’re about finding. About exploring the deeper context behind what’s working, what’s not, and what someone really wants to see happen next.

I use these in nearly every setting—coaching calls, one-on-ones, team offsites, even casual conversations. Because they are the key that unlocks connection, credibility, and trust. 

When people feel heard, they open up. When they open up, they invest. And when they invest, your collaboration gets stronger, faster, and more aligned.

Here are a few Discovery Questions I keep in my back pocket:

• What would a home run look like on this project?
  
• What’s your biggest worry right now?
  
• What are you loving about this process?
  
• What’s your biggest hope for this new initiative?
  
• What’s something you wish more people asked you about?

Use these to explore: values, motivations, fears, expectations, goals, and context. Think of them as relationship-deepening questions—open-ended, reflective, and often beginning with what or how.

While they can lead to rich insights, “why” questions often feel confrontational—especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged settings. They ask people to justify themselves, which can trigger defensiveness—especially if they don’t know or understand the actual cause.

They also tend to require deeper reasoning and emotional excavation, which takes time and psychological safety—not always realistic in fast-paced conversations. 

You’ll often get better results by leading with what or how, which invite clarity without putting someone on the defensive. For example:

• Instead of “Why did you do it that way?” → try “What led you to approach it that way?”
  
• Instead of “Why isn’t this working?” → try “What’s getting in the way right now?”

These questions don’t just gather facts—they help people feel safe enough to share what’s beneath the facts. That’s where real trust starts to form.

A word of caution here: don’t ask what you’re not willing to truly listen to. Discovery is only powerful when it’s paired with attention. The goal isn’t to be interesting—it’s to be interested.

Once you’ve listened—really listened—the next step is helping people move forward. That’s where Solution Questions come in.

Solution Questions: Turn Insight Into Action

Where Discovery Questions help you uncover the landscape, Solution Questions help you chart the path. They take what you’ve heard and begin to translate it into progress: a decision, a direction, a next step.

The shift here is subtle but significant. You’re no longer just understanding—you’re helping to activate, challenge, and grow. And when done with humility and clarity, this is where the magic happens.

Here are a few Solution Questions I often partner with my Discovery questions above.

• Who needs to be included on this project to hit that home run?
  
• What’s the first thing we could do to alleviate that concern?
  
• How could we leverage what’s working to overcome what’s not?
  
• How can we start to get buy-in for that next initiative?
  
• What does a meaningful “next step” look like for you?

Use these to generate momentum: to help people consider actions, clarify roles, make decisions, or co-create next steps. These questions assume forward movement—but leave room for the other person to shape how that happens.

These questions are still rooted in curiosity—but they carry momentum. They take the conversation from awareness to alignment and from understanding to ownership.

One quick note of caution: A trap I’ve seen leaders fall into is lingering too long in the discovery phase. It’s safer. It’s non-confrontational. And it can also wear everyone out and erode morale and trust in the process. 

If your goal is real trust and real results—not just comfort—then it means helping people move through uncertainty, not just sit with it. As I say in my book, “It can be a delicate navigation, but knowing when it’s time to move from the mud to the highway is the leader’s job.”

Use the above questions, and others like them, to help you put a strong hand on the wheel.

Real Connection Starts with Real Questions

At a time when people are moving fast, making assumptions, and struggling to feel seen—connection isn’t a luxury. It’s a leadership imperative.

And the fastest way to deepen that connection isn’t a team offsite or a perfect personality profile. It’s a well-placed question, asked with genuine curiosity and a willingness to truly listen.

Because the truth is: people don’t just want to be fixed. They want to be heard. They want to feel like their thoughts matter, their concerns are valid, and their ideas are part of the solution. The right questions unlock all of that—and turn your conversations into catalysts.

So before your next team meeting, coaching session, or coffee with a colleague, don’t prep a speech.

Prep a question.

And then listen like it’s your job. Because it is.

As the leading voice on trust, David Horsager helps leaders and organizations transform the way they connect, communicate, and perform. His keynotes, workshops, and Trust Edge Certification programs are designed to build real trust—and real results. Want to bring this message to your event or team? Let’s talk.

Leading with character comes down to a single decision.

Early in my career, I watched a leader repeatedly ignore behavior that contradicted the values they claimed to stand for. Over time, no one believed the mission statement anymore—not because it wasn’t well-written, but because it wasn’t well-lived.

What we tolerate becomes what we teach. The habits no one sees define the reputation everyone remembers.

You can be clear.

You can be consistent.

You can even be incredibly compassionate.

But if people don’t trust your character—the person you are when no one is watching—none of those things will matter.

In my years of researching and teaching trust, “character” is the pillar people often assume they have covered. But when things go sideways—or success starts to scale—character is what determines whether you stay grounded or lose the very trust you’ve worked so hard to forge.

Character Is Hard To Define—But We Know It When We See It

When I taught Ethics at a local university, I had students from all kinds of backgrounds—different belief systems, cultures, political views. And yet, when we broke down character into behaviors and values, we discovered something remarkable:

Most of us could agree on what good character looks like.

We all want honesty. Fairness. Integrity. Courage. Humility.

We all want people who take responsibility, tell the truth, and keep their word.

So why is it so hard to put character into practice in our day-to-day lives?

Because life moves fast. Decisions get complex. And companies and cultures often incentivize the wrong behaviors. As my students soon discovered in the class, living and leading with character is often the easiest—and the hardest—things you’ll ever do. (More on this below.)

As a Leader, You’re Teaching Character—Whether You Mean To or Not

If you lead a team, you’re shaping the culture every day—whether you’re aware of it or not. It always comes down to:

• What you reward

• What you tolerate

• What you laugh at, ignore, or celebrate.

All of these behaviors and decisions speak louder than any vision or mission statement on the wall. Think about your last few interactions with your team. Are you reinforcing character—or accidentally rewarding shortcuts, silence, or ego?

The Habit of Good Character

Culture and character are formed in the same way—through repeated behaviors and decisions. Those behaviors become habits. And over time, those habits shape outcomes, trust, and identity.

Your character isn’t proven in a single moment. It’s revealed through hundreds of small choices you make every day—especially when no one’s watching.

That’s why trust breaks down slowly, then suddenly.

And while clarity and compassion shape what you do and how you do it, character defines who you are while doing it.

Trust Tool #13: How to Turn Core Values Into Daily Decisions

In my book Trust Matters More Than Ever, I share 40 proven tools to create and strengthen trust. Today, I want to share one of my favorites—Decision-Making Values—because character-driven decisions aren’t just the right choices. They’re also the smartest and fastest.

When your values are clear and active, they serve as a filter for everything. Hiring, business strategy, spending, feedback, and even personal priorities are all determined by our values. They save time, reduce friction, and keep your culture strong—even in times of pressure or uncertainty.

But values only work if you know what they are—and how to use them. 

Here’s how to start:

Step 1: Choose 3–5 core values that define who you are at your best.

In this step, I want you to list the values you’d want someone to use when introducing or describing you to others. Ask yourself:

• What traits do I admire most in others and strive to model myself?
• What priorities or decisions feel non-negotiable to me?
• What behaviors make me feel confident in my relationships?
• What would I want people to say about me when I’m not in the room?

Hint: Switching these questions to the negative can also spark some clues as to what’s important to you. For example, ask yourself, “What would be the worst thing someone could say about me?”

Once you name your values, you’ll have a clearer sense of where you stand—and where you may need to grow. 

Step 2: Turn each value into a phrase you can live by.

Let’s say you chose honesty as one of your values in the above step. What does that actually look like in action? Turn that word into a phrase you can live by.

• “I tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.”
• “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”
• “I own my mistakes and learn from them.”

Here’s something incredible: If you are currently living outside your values, you can course correct at any time. 

Whether it’s who you are or who you want to be, write it down—decide now that you will use it to make better, more aligned decisions moving forward. I call this “pre-deciding”—and it’s the easiest way to address decisions and behaviors that could be mired down in complications. And it’s the best way to live a proactive, values-driven life. 

Step 3: Live and decide by your values.

When faced with a decision, ask yourself:

• Am I honoring what matters most to me?
• What example is this setting for my team, my family, or my clients?
• How will this benefit everyone involved?

I once coached a high-level executive who struggled with overcommitment. They wanted to be seen as dependable, but kept missing deadlines and burning out. After identifying “integrity” as a core value, they adopted this phrase: “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

It changed everything—from how they scheduled meetings to how they responded to requests. Saying “no” wasn’t failure anymore. It was a form of integrity.

Once you identify three to five phrases you can live and decide by, keep practicing them.  Soon they will stop being reminders and start becoming your reputation—and it’s one you can be proud of.

Want to Be Trusted? Start Trusting Yourself To Live with Character.

When I first started delivering keynotes, I was thrilled to share the stage with some big-name speakers. But behind the scenes, I quickly realized something disheartening—some of them were completely different people when the mic was off.

They didn’t have character. They were playing one.

That experience led my team to adopt one of our core decision-making phrases:

“Same off-stage as on-stage.”

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Because you don’t need a perfect past or flawless performance to be a person of character.

You need clarity—because it’s easy to be blind to our inconsistencies.

You need accountability—because pressure exposes gaps we can’t always see.

And you need compassion—because we all need people who love us enough to tell us the truth.

The leaders we trust most don’t just show up when it’s easy. They show up the same way when it’s hard. They make decisions that reflect their values. They model the culture they want to create. And they build character, one choice at a time.

As the leading authority on trust, David Horsager helps leaders turn values into action and outcomes. Book a keynote or custom workshop that is proven to deepen connection, drive accountability, and build cultures of character. 

Need a refresher on the other Pillars of Trust?

• Explore Consistency and the Habit Change Tool
• Strengthen Commitment through the Six-Step Accountability Framework
• Revive Compassion through the SPA Method. 

Are you someone who keeps their promises? Prove it.

Early in my career, when I was leading at KLIFE Ministries, I fell into a tough realization: We weren’t getting the results our team—and those we served—deserved.

I had a dedicated team. They worked hard, they cared deeply, and they showed up every day. But something wasn’t clicking. Our progress stalled, frustration grew, and despite our best efforts, we weren’t making the kind of impact we knew we could.

So, I did what every leader should do in moments like this: I took a hard look in the mirror. Instead of blaming circumstances or outside forces, I asked myself, What am I doing—or not doing—that’s getting in the way of my team’s success?

That period of reflection reshaped the way I lead. I renewed my commitment to improving my leadership and serving my team in a way that removed roadblocks, clarified expectations, and reinforced accountability—not through micromanagement, but through clear, structured follow-through.

That’s the thing about commitment. It’s not just about setting goals—it’s about proving, every day, that you’ll follow through.

And the best way to do that? Accountability.

Without accountability, commitment becomes wishful thinking. Too much, and it turns into micromanagement. Too little, and nothing changes. The right balance creates trust, ownership, and results.

In this blog, I’m breaking down the Six-Step Accountability Framework, a practical process for reinforcing commitment—without over-managing your team or getting stuck in endless excuses.

Commitment isn’t just about making a promise. It’s about proving, over time, that you’ll do what it takes to keep it. It’s what separates good intentions from real actions and real results. 

Accountability: The Missing Link in Disengaged Workplaces.

Organizations worldwide talk a good game about accountability, but in practice, it’s one of the most significant gaps I see when I’m asked to speak and facilitate. Leaders know it’s essential, yet they either avoid it entirely or weaponize it into micromanagement. Both backfire into disengagement.

I once worked with a leader who had eight direct reports. Seven were engaged, reliable team players. But one? He consistently showed up late, turned in poor work, and had a bad attitude. You’d think his teammates would have been frustrated with him. But when they finally voiced their concerns, their frustration wasn’t directed at him—it was at their leader.

Why? Because by failing to hold one person accountable, no one was really being held accountable.

When accountability is lacking, trust erodes—not just between a leader and an underperforming employee but across the entire team. The message becomes clear: commitment doesn’t really matter here. When that happens, the team culture suffers.

Accountability shouldn’t feel like poisonous micromanagement that strips people of autonomy, nor should it be so lax that people feel like they can get away with anything. Healthy accountability is a sign of commitment—both to the work and to each other. And the best way to establish it? A simple, structured framework.

The Six-Step Accountability Framework

Accountability isn’t about control—it’s about alignment. It’s about ensuring that when commitments are made, they lead to results. (Note: This is where clarity and consistency come into play.

When people are clear on expectations and consistent in their execution, accountability becomes a natural part of the process. It’s not a punishment—it’s a reinforcement of trust. And when you add another key trust pillar—compassion—you create accountability that is effective and empowering.

Use this Six-Step Accountability Framework in one-on-one conversations to ensure commitments don’t just stay promises—they turn into action.

1. Set a Clear Goal. Be specific. What needs to be accomplished? Why does it matter—and why is the person in front of you the perfect person to do it?
2. Acknowledge a Clear Ability. If you’re going to hold someone accountable, ensure they have the right skills, resources, and authority. Otherwise, you’re setting them up to fail. 
3. Define a Clear Success Metric. How will you know the goal is achieved—or when to shift gears? Define measurable progress markers, timelines, and key outcomes. 
4. Create a Clear Check-In Rhythm. Decide in advance how progress will be tracked. Will there be weekly meetings? Monthly reports? Set a cadence that reinforces progress.
5. Connect to Clear Consequences. What happens when commitments are met—and what happens when they aren’t? This could be rewards, recognition, or course correction. Make sure expectations are clear upfront—and that it’s just as clear you believe they can do it.
6. Gauge Clear Commitment. Ask, “On a scale of 1–10, how committed are you to this goal?” Encourage an honest answer and discuss why. Their response will reveal any hesitations or roadblocks that need to be addressed. 

This framework ensures that commitment isn’t assumed—it’s reinforced. It takes the guesswork out of accountability and creates a structured way to track follow-through without micromanaging.

Commitment isn’t promised. It’s proven.

On a scale of 1–10, how committed are you to building and strengthening trust in your relationships, organization, and performance?

If your answer isn’t a confident 10, you’re not alone. Commitment isn’t just about wanting something—it’s about consistently showing up, following through, and accomplishing goals even when it’s hard. And if commitment feels like a struggle, it’s often because something is missing.

Ask yourself:

✅ Are my habits working for me—or against me?

✅ Am I 100% clear on what I want and what I’m doing?

✅ Do I truly care about the impact I’m making on others?

If any of these are shaky, commitment will always feel like an uphill battle. But the good news? Trust can be built, and commitment can be strengthened—when you have the right tools and fuels in place.

Start with clarity. Build with consistency. Reinforce it with compassion. Never forget that trust isn’t built with words—it’s built with action. Commit to that next step—and then keep taking it.

Want to build stronger trust?

• If you need more support in building clarity, check out my blog on The How-How-How Tool.
• If you want to reinforce consistency, The Habit Change Tool is a great place to start.

Trust isn’t built in a day. It’s built every day.

Imagine walking into your favorite coffee shop, eager for your usual morning brew.

Today, however, it feels a little different. The coffee tastes off, the service is sluggish, and the barista seems distracted. The whole experience leaves a bitter taste, both literally and metaphorically.

Just as a dependable cup of coffee fuels customer loyalty, consistent actions, and behaviors are fundamental in building trust within teams, families, and organizations. While grand gestures and dramatic changes often capture attention, it’s the steady, reliable routines—the “boring” aspects—that truly establish and reinforce trust over time.

Repeatable Results

When I talk to teams and organizations about building trust, I tell them that ‘consistency’ is a big word for the dependable routines that define our days—and by extension, who we are and what we represent.

Consider how two specific mornings can set the stage for the day:

• Ty’s Morning: Ty starts each day with a brisk walk with his wife and a quick yet nutritious breakfast. He launches into his day with mental clarity and focus, reinforcing his commitment to prioritizing his health and family (something he’s working on).
  
• Sherry’s Morning: In contrast, Sherry wakes up and immediately checks her emails and her social scroll, feeling stressed and overwhelmed before her feet even touch the floor. She’s been in “react” mode for months and can’t figure out why. Isn’t there a reset button somewhere?

These examples illustrate that the habits we cultivate each morning significantly influence our daily trajectory, impacting both personal well-being and professional performance.

Habits: The Building Blocks of Trust—And You.

Your consistent behaviors allow those around you to predict—read: trust—how you will react in various situations. Habits do the same thing for YOU. They act as shortcuts for decisions and behaviors—and quickly define your character, for better and for worse. 

If you repeat negative behaviors like neglecting regular exercise, frequently arriving late to meetings, or failing to listen attentively to loved ones, they will define your character as someone who is unreliable, disorganized, and inattentive. 

On the other hand, if positive behaviors are reinforced and repeated—like maintaining a balanced diet, consistently meeting deadlines, and dedicating quality time to family—they will become ingrained in your character, defining you as someone who is disciplined, dependable, and caring. 

All of this is to say that your small daily decisions are not insignificant. These choices become behaviors. Your behaviors become habits. And your habits become your results.

The question becomes—do you want the results you are getting?

Change Your Habits. Change Your Results.

Whether you realize it or not, your habits shape everything—from your productivity and health to how you lead and see the world. And the best part? They aren’t set in stone. You can change them at any time to fuel and create better outcomes.

I love the Habit Change Tool (#35 in my latest book) for this purpose. It offers a series of questions designed to unlock the self-awareness needed to shift habits—and put better results on autopilot. 

Here are five of those questions to kickstart new results in your day, your leadership, and your life.

What habit do I want to change?
Be specific. Identify the singular action you are currently taking that works against the results you want. For instance, do you feel like Sherry in the example above? (Need help on getting clear? Last month’s blog will tell you how.)

How will I benefit from changing?
To make changes permanent, they need to feel good. Reflect on both immediate and long-term positive gains. In this example, starting your day by acting in the direction of your goals (instead of reacting to the world) can give you a sense of power and control over your surroundings. And healthy choices—like exercising, meditating, or eating a nutritious meal—provide a ton more benefits!

What pain will I face from NOT changing?
In the same way, consider the drawbacks of maintaining your current habit. Continuing to focus on what you can’t control might result in persistent fatigue, irritability, and potential health issues over time. Do you really want to wake up like that tomorrow?

What am I replacing this habit with?
It’s essential to have a powerful, new approach to take the place of your former behavior. Without a replacement, old habits creep back in. So, what can you do instead of reaching for your phone in the morning?

What resources or help do I need to fuel this habit?
First, look at your surroundings—your environment can make a huge difference. If you want to break a habit, make it harder to do. If you want to build a habit, make it easy and obvious. 

For instance:

• Use a physical alarm clock to eliminate the temptation of checking emails first thing in the morning.
• If you have to use your phone as your alarm clock, label it with your goal like “Exercise Before Inbox!” so it flashes a reminder as soon as you wake up.
• Move your phone across the room, and put a glass of water where your phone used to be to reinforce a new healthier habit.

By thoughtfully addressing these questions, you pave the way for meaningful and lasting habit change. And it’s as simple as making the same new choice, every time. 

Habits Shape More Than You Think—Without Thinking

Our daily habits extend beyond personal routines; they profoundly influence our leadership styles, team dynamics, and overall organizational culture. Consistent behaviors—both positive and negative—set the tone for how teams operate and interact.

Habits put our culture and character on autopilot. They determine our reactions, responses, reality—and ultimately, our reputation. Building trust within your organization requires habits that reflect reliability, integrity, and respect—timely meetings, transparency, boundaries, deadline adherence, and accountability all set a reliable and reciprocal tone for performance.

Remember, trust is not built in a day; it’s built every single day. If you want better results, examine the small actions contributing to your current outcomes and start making deliberate, consistent changes toward what you want. Before you know it, your new habits will become second nature, and as you learn to trust yourself through these changes, you’ll inspire deeper trust in those around you.

Discover the tool that turns goals into growth—with one simple word.

Every January, we promise ourselves transformation. We set resolutions with determination, envisioning a healthier, happier, more successful version of ourselves. But by February, those dreams often feel distant, and the cycle of self-blame begins.

Here’s what I want you to remember. 

Your resolutions didn’t fail because your dreams were too big.

Or because your reasons weren’t strong enough.

Or even because you lacked commitment. 

It’s because you likely missed the final, most critical step in goal-setting: defining and making the first actionable move forward.

Experts often emphasize clarity as “knowing what you want and why you want it”. While those are essential—the WHY gives your goal emotional significance and the WHAT defines the end result—they leave out the most important piece of the puzzle: HOW you’ll get there. 

Without an action plan, the why and what are little more than wishful thinking. To achieve your resolutions—or any goal for that matter—and become the best version of yourself in the process, you need to answer for how.

Turning a figment into the future: The How-How-How tool.

The How How How tool is one of my favorites (so much so that it’s one of my top ten tools of my new book—Page 62) designed to turn dreams into a roadmap. The premise is simple: keep asking how until you’ve defined a specific, actionable step you can take right now. 

 The final “how” must include:

• What you’re doing.
• Where you’re doing it.
• When it’s happening.
• Who is responsible.

This method not only transforms vague aspirations into a roadmap for success—it turns your first step into a giant leap. And who doesn’t love a head start?

Why Clarity Fuels Hope

When you can take immediate action—however small—you shift your focus from wishing to doing. Action builds momentum. Momentum builds results. And results are always awesome. 

That’s the foundation of the “How-How-How” tool. It’s not just about dreaming big; it’s about starting smart.

Here are three examples to this tool in action—and how it can apply to personal, professional, and and even organizational goals.

Example 1: A Personal Goal

Goal: Get healthier this year.

How 1: How will I get healthier?

I’ll take in fewer calories.

How 2: How will I take in fewer calories?

I’ll reduce how much sugar I’m eating and drinking.

How 3: How will I reduce my sugar intake?

I’ll stop drinking soft drinks when I travel, which is a lot.

Today’s Action: I’ll switch to a calorie-free soda alternative or water on every flight, layover, and restaurant—starting now. (Pssst. This one is from the personal archives, folks—after my doctor told me I needed to drop 50 pounds. While it didn’t automatically get me to my goal, it gave me the fuel I needed to make other fantastic health changes—and I’m still going strong!)

Example 2: A Professional Goal

Goal: Get a promotion.

How 1: How will I get a promotion?

I’ll improve my leadership skills.

How 2: How will I improve my leadership skills?

I’ll take on a high-visibility project.

How 3: How will I take on a high-visibility project?

Today’s action: I’ll prepare my talking points for my next one-on-one with my manager, and I’ll ask what projects need a lead and volunteer for one.

Example 3: A Team/Organizational Goal

Goal: Increase team productivity by 20%.

How 1: How will we increase productivity?

We’ll improve communication.

How 2: How will we improve communication?

We’ll establish regular check-ins.

How 3: How will we establish regular check-ins?

Today’s action: I’ll schedule a recurring weekly team meeting starting next monday, draft a working agenda, and send the meeting invite this afternoon.

The Step That Changes Everything

We’ve all been told to dream big, to know our reasons, and to envision success. But the truth is, dreaming alone doesn’t lead to doing. If you’ve struggled to make your resolutions stick, it’s not because you lacked motivation or ambition. It’s likely because you didn’t know the next action step to take—and didn’t take it soon enough..

The “How How How” tool bridges the gap between intention and action. It transforms your why and what into tangible steps, showing you exactly how to move forward. And when you can take immediate action—today, right now—you create the momentum that turns dreams into reality.

So, this year, don’t just set resolutions. Map them. Break them down. Light them up. Define your first action, and start building the future you envision. Clarity isn’t just about knowing what you want; it’s about knowing how to make it happen. Before you know it, you’ll be waking up feeling healthy, vibrant, and ready to take your career and your team to the next level. And how!

Leaders who focus on delivering concrete results will always outshine those who rely on mere promises.

Infomercials claim to deliver tangible results. The Shake Weight promises to tone your arms. The ShamWow soaks up any liquid mess 10 times its weight. The Clapper turns lights on and off with a simple clap of your hands. Often, a host demonstrates how to use the product and late-night TV viewers can see the results for themselves, which is why infomercials are so successful. 

Much like how infomercials offer results, leaders at organizations and businesses also need authentic contributions to build trust. Sure, leaders benefit from having genuine compassion and character. But leaders who deliver real results will win out over those who only deliver empty promises. They also have better relationships with team members, drive revenue, and help others to share in those outcomes.

Six E’s Model to Foster Contribution 

Employees need motivation from leadership teams to make high-quality, meaningful contributions in the workplace. So, if you want to see a change in your organization, it has to start with you. 

Model these six key “E” behaviors firsthand to spark motivation and contributions from your coworkers: 

• Example. Lead with your actions. Demonstrate exactly how you want something completed or what you mean when you say “XYZ.” 
• Expectation. Make sure your colleagues understand what you need from them to support a project. Allow them to ask questions and be prepared to provide clarity if needed. 
• Education. Take the time to instruct your peers so that they can do their job quickly, efficiently, and effectively. Share roles, responsibilities, and supporting documents to onboard new employees and bring them up to speed.
• Encouragement. Affirm contributions made by teammates with genuine enthusiasm and kind words. Uplift others around you. Encourage everyone often. 
• Empower. Ensure that your team has the resources, tools, and your public support to finish a task or project. 
• Extend Trust. Make sure your direct reports know that you trust them to handle the responsibilities you’ve given them. When you increase your trust with others, they’re more likely to make greater, more significant contributions over time. 

When you and other senior leaders actively foster a culture that supports meaningful contributions, as well as a map to get there, employees are more likely to participate and work toward a common goal. This drives the success of your departments, teams, and overall business.

Plant Your Own Seeds  

In a recent Trust Outlook™ study, researchers discovered that when senior leaders are trusted, employees are more willing to share their ideas, opinions, and solutions. They are, in general, more likely to engage with a trusted leader and find ways to make significant contributions.

Just as seeds need water and sunshine to grow in a garden, leaders (that’s you!) need physical, mental, and emotional support to thrive. Check in with yourself — how are you feeling? What are some areas that need improvement? 

Follow the SEEDs Model and make sure you’re getting what you need to grow and cultivate positive contributions at work, at home, and in your community: 

• Sleep. Running on fumes doesn’t help anyone. Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of sleep to improve your cognitive focus, increase energy levels, and balance your mood.
  
• Exercise. Regular strength training, cardio sessions, and walks contribute to your daily health and wellbeing. Make time to contribute to your physical health by exercising 2-4 times per week.
  
• Eat Right. Load up on whole foods, like lean proteins, vegetables, and fruits. Limit processed foods and sugar. You’ll feel better, sleep better, and function better.
  
• Drink Water. Aim to drink half your bodyweight in ounces. For example, a 160-pound person should drink 80 ounces of water daily. This saves calories and makes sure the body stays hydrated.
  
• Source. Establish your biggest motivator for getting the job done. Know your “why” and let it guide you to dig deep to find the energy and focus to complete a project or meet a deadline.
  

Contribution and trust work together. 

Leaders who make consistent contributions inspire employees to do the same. Through a dedication to tangible results, a collaborative work environment, and a culture that fosters success, leaders can build trust, increase productivity, and boost contributions from others. 

Leaders who commit to something beyond themselves create an environment where trust thrives. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and community to help you confirm your level of commitment. 

Ready to bridge the trust gap? Schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

The Essential Role of Competency in Nourishing Resilient, Adaptive Organizations

The most important thing we can learn is how to learn.

If you are still leading the same way you did twenty years ago—or, let’s face it, in today’s fast-changing world, even five years ago—I probably don’t trust you. The nature of change means that mastery of anything is never complete.

People trust competence. Leaders who stay fresh, relevant, and capable are always engaged in learning new ways of doing things and staying current on ideas and trends. Deep knowledge requires humility, curiosity, and perseverance. 

It is a lifelong journey.

And learning is a journey we all want to be on. It’s what is behind the desire to find meaning in your work. People love to increase their competency. The pursuit of mastery is sparked by the very curiosity that makes us human.

Learning People Lead Learning Organizations

There is a connection between leaders engaged in lifelong learning and learning organizations. That connection, when nurtured, creates an inertia for building trust: 75% of employees say they would trust their employers more if they were provided with more training opportunities. 

Our teams need us to pave the way for them to develop and grow. They want their curiosity stimulated and their engagement fed so they can feel and do their best.

Learning organizations equip their people to grow their competency.

And the impact makes for an adaptive, resilient organization. Two-thirds of all employees want to learn more about people skills than technical skills. People are hungry to grow not just in their current roles, but in their future ones. 

When we equip our people effectively, we get a whole lot of wins as leaders: higher engagement, lower attrition, and more consistency throughout the organization. 

How do we build learning organizations, where competency is increasing in our people every single day? We begin within.

Quality In, Quality Out

No formal study program or advanced degree can singularly facilitate the knowledge needed for a lifetime. Continuous learning is ongoing, the only way to be the best version of oneself. 

Most know this to be true, yet many don’t know how to prioritize continued learning—or where to start. 

As with our bodies, so with our minds: input always affects output. Quality nourishment—for body and mind—leads to better health, growth, and learning. Look to people you admire and investigate how they endeavor to stay fresh, relevant, and capable.

Last month we talked about Character and the month before that, Consistency. This sequence is no mistake: doing what is right, even when it is hard, and building habits around those priorities, are the path to greater Competency— and quality output. Below are some suggestions for investing in quality input.

• Read intentionally. Seek nourishing material over fluff or negativity.
• Take classes. Look into company resources and training. 
• Seek feedback. Get free advice. 
• Invest in coaching. Take a deep dive into self-awareness and accelerate growth.
• Join an association. Choose one that aligns with your passions—not just your profession.
• Find a mentor. You’re never too old for fresh perspectives or networking support.

Maybe you aren’t sure exactly what you want to invest in developing. If that’s the case, consider this: What are the most important competencies for today’s leaders? 

Competencies of Resilience

When leaders around the world were asked what they felt the most important leadership competencies were, some important themes emerged. 

These most important leadership competencies aren’t surprising, but none are easy to master. 

At the top of the list? “Demonstrating strong ethics and providing a sense of safety.” This is followed closely by “fostering a sense of connection or belonging” and “empowering others to self-organize.” 

The skills needed to possess these competencies aren’t acquired simply or quickly. They are the result of a quest for lifelong learning and evolutionary growth. They are a combination of Character and Consistency: conscious decisions about who you will become and the inertia behind making it so.

As you continue your quest, here’s a gentle reminder: competency isn’t perfection. In the real world, momentum stops and starts. But even a dead end brings us learning. Almost any great leader will tell you that their biggest mistakes led to their greatest insights. We don’t grow without stumbling from time to time, and we certainly don’t grow in a vacuum. 

We need others—and accountability to them—for us to remain humble lifelong learners and to build learning organizations.

Leaders who demonstrate a strong moral compass through transparency and authenticity create trust with employees and customers. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you cultivate your character. If you’re ready to bridge the trust gap, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

“Getting Over” Imposter Syndrome and Letting Your Values Guide You

Leaders face a hard truth today: our teams and customers don’t trust us as much as we think they do.

In the United States, leaders perceive that their employees and customers trust them far more than either group actually does. This is what we call the trust gap, and according to the 2024 PwC Trust Survey, that gap is growing.

This is concerning for many reasons but most importantly because trust is critical to our long-term success. Building and maintaining trust improves the bottom line, at least according to 93% of business executives. The burning question, then, is: why the growing gap in trust?

Imposter Syndrome is Widening the Chasm

Melinda French Gates has spoken out recently about feeling like an imposter while at the helm of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. At the heart of her message behind “getting over it” as she continues her leadership journey is learning to accept that “I’ll never know everything… but I know enough to know what I know deeply at a core level and to speak those truths.”

Everybody knows they’re not perfect and yet when I sit in boardrooms, or next to leaders, presidents of companies, and presidents of countries, I see a whole lot of imposter syndrome where leaders are scared to death that they’re going to be found out. 

But guess what? Your teams and your customers already know when you’re not being fully honest or authentic with them. They might not know the details, but they have a far greater sense of when leaders aren’t being transparent than we give them credit for. 

People are far more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt if you’re willing to show a little openness and humility. It’s the human side of you that makes you relatable—that shows your character—and builds trust.

A Leap of Faith: Trusting Them First

Many people find it daunting to be more transparent and more authentic. It means revealing mistakes we think we made or flaws we think we have. We might fear that there will be consequences for our vulnerability.

It isn’t always easy, but character is all about doing what is right over what is easy. 

Think of someone you admire for having high character. Those who stand up for what they believe is right. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther, Greta Thunberg were (are) all just humans with foibles and flaws. They’re also people in possession of a clear sense of their values and a fearlessness to act on those values.

Building Bridges: Honest Practices

The message from the field is loud and clear: people value honesty over all other leadership qualities. So for today’s leaders to close the trust gap, consistently demonstrating they can be transparent and authentic where it counts is crucial.

Transparency is all about sharing information. Build your character pillar with these three strategies for bringing greater transparency to your organization’s culture.

• Practice clear communication. In a culture of civility and candor, people know exactly what is expected of them and are empowered to contribute. 
• Keep the team updated—openly and honestly. Leaders who play their cards too closely risk alienating employees who feel resources and secrets are being kept from them.
• Evaluate and discuss performance. Make time for an ongoing feedback process. Inform people about their performance relative to expectations in a factual and empathetic manner.

Authenticity requires first reflecting on your values. You must understand exactly where your moral compass is pointing before you can demonstrate it to others in a way that resonates with them. 

• Begin with self-awareness. Knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how others see you deepens your emotional intelligence—the secret sauce of authenticity.
• Practice vulnerability. Leaders who share their missteps and failures are perceived as more open and less haughty. Start small by sharing lessons you’ve learned from past mistakes.

The road to greater transparency and authenticity can be challenging. But the solution doesn’t lie in pushing away difficult emotions or avoiding challenging situations. Rolling with the ups and downs (and sharing them with team members) will deepen your character, endear your team to you, and begin to close the trust gap.
Leaders who demonstrate a strong moral compass through transparency and authenticity create trust with employees and customers. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you cultivate your character. If you’re ready to bridge the trust gap, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

It’s the Little Things That Lay Unshakable Foundations

Small actions done consistently make the biggest difference. If my garden flourishes, it’s because I have tended it carefully over time, not because I dropped seeds in the ground yesterday. 

It is the same in business. The little things we do consistently—no matter what our role—result in a higher level of trust. This trust leads to greater results when our actions, both big and small, are clear, supportive, honest, and able to bring people together.

But consistency can be a double-edged sword.

If our consistent actions work against our goals, they negatively impact progress—and culture. For example, if I’m always late, my people will trust me to be…late. Over time, this lack of commitment becomes a part of the culture.

Your Reputation Is Constructed of Habits

It is unlikely that one highly visible action will be what distinguishes you as trustworthy. The only way to build a reputation as a leader is through consistency—thousands of small opportunities to show, over time, that you can be depended on.

Aristotle said that virtue is formed by actions. The writer Will Durant expounded on this, stating, “We are what we repeatedly do; therefore, excellence is not an act, but a habit.”

Habits are those little actions we take over and over again—so often, in fact, that they impose themselves on our daily routines. Opening doors for others and unloading the dishwasher are habits just as much as biting fingernails or prioritizing screen time over personal interaction. 

Habits are the engine of consistency.

A reputation of any flavor, excellence or otherwise, is constructed of habits. But it’s not always easy to do something consistently, day in and day out—especially when introducing a new habit.

Because old habits are ingrained in our routine, habit change must begin conscientiously and specifically. Try our Trust Edge Habit Change Process for putting yourself on the path to enacting such change. We’ve outlined the process below with some examples:

1. What habit do I want to change? It can be small, such as being less absorbed in your tasks (and more open with your body language).
2. How will I benefit from changing? If you’re less absorbed in your tasks, you create more opportunities to connect with others.
3. What pain will I face from not changing? When you’re always absorbed in your tasks, it’s hard to connect with others, and your team may feel distanced from you; morale could suffer.
4. What am I replacing this habit with? Think of what you can do differently: “I will make eye contact with (and smile at) everyone I see.”
5. What resources do I need? Perhaps you need reminders to get started—maybe on your phone or next to your office door.
6. Who could help me change this habit? Tell a family member or a trusted colleague what you’re up to and ask them to check in with you on a regular basis.
7. What distractions do I need to remove? How? How? How? Think through the specifics of what is currently behind the old habit. Maybe you’ve taken on too many tasks that are better allocated or you need better time management skills. Maybe both?
8. What specific steps will I take? How? How? How? Define what actions you need to take: “I’ll stop trying to do three things at once! I’ll plan blocks of time to focus on specific tasks. I’ll also set clearer boundaries and give myself at least ten minutes between agenda items.”
9. How can I reward target behavior? How? How? How? It feels good to connect with people, and smiles tend to be reciprocal. With greater connection comes more chances for collaboration. Who knows? Maybe you can establish a place in the office where people can be more social!
10. How can I keep it top of mind? How? How? How? How about reading some of those books you’ve been wanting to read about building cultures of connection?
11. In 90 days, what will my new habit be? In addition to making eye contact and smiling at your team, you’ll be better able to inquire about their lives. The result: you’ll be more familiar with your team! 

As we form new habits, we slip up from time to time. If you’re trying hard to be on time and have consistently been able to do so, don’t sweat it if you run late to one meeting because of an unexpected traffic jam.

Consistency is all about the small stuff, so start small and spend just a little time on it each day. The time it takes to establish a habit can really vary—be patient with yourself and celebrate the small wins. Persistence and practice are the keys to success.

Scaffolding for New Habits

MIT researchers discovered a pattern in our brains behind every habit. The first step in that pattern is called a “cue.” Cues are triggers that prompt the habit behavior to unfold. For example, leaving a room prompts you to turn off the lights. 

When you think about the resources you need to change a habit (#5), imagine what cues you might need to nudge you toward the habit. 

Imagine you are trying to form a habit of personally recognizing your team members for their contributions. You might create a calendar notification prompting you to set aside ten minutes each day to first reflect on one team member who has contributed in a positive way—big or small—and then to reach out to them, either in person or online, just to tell them how much you appreciated what they did and acknowledge their contribution.

The hard work of establishing habits that support your values begins with a single act. Start small, repeat, and see how quickly the benefits stack up.
Leaders who act and respond consistently see results build up over time. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you create the habits you need to reach your goals. If you’re ready to distinguish yourself as dependable, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.

Discover the Antidote to Tension, Conflict, and Disengagement.

Last month, we talked about some ways in which purpose-alignment has transformed our work needs. Work is no longer a place where we “just” trade time and talents for money; it’s a place where we seek meaning, impact, and contribution. 

One outcome of this transformation is how easily tensions at work rise when teams feel poorly equipped to deliver their best work, inadequately recognized for their efforts, or unfairly penalized for not having all of the information they need to do their job well.

Untreated, these tensions lead to conflict and disengagement. When it comes to delivering work, nothing causes more tension than a lack of clarity—not even being interrupted or having a heavy workload.

Two Kinds of Clarity

In our work with organizations, we’ve found that TWO kinds of clarity are needed to empower and build trust in your teams. 

• Strategic clarity is all about the vision and making sure that everyone’s moving toward the same destination.
• Communication clarity is related to expectations, both long- and short-term, such as “What are my weekly goals?” or “How should we measure success in this context?”

Both types of clarity build on and feed off of each other. Strategic clarity is the throughline, the common motivator for building long-term momentum and informing shorter-term planning. Communication clarity is agile and responsive to daily discoveries, achievements, and challenges, and uses insights gained and lessons learned to inform the vision.

By the same token, neither strategic clarity nor communication clarity can stand alone. Without a uniting vision, daily tasks lack purpose or motivation. Without proper support and resources, employees are less motivated to execute a vision no matter how talented and skilled they are. You need both.

Compounding Clarity: Keep it Visible

One way to make clear communication, well, clear? Make sure everyone has easy and ready access to the information they need. 

Leaders can use the ODC Method (Outcome-Deadline-Clarifiers) for clear communication about both vision and expectations.

• Outcome: Whether the goal is big or small, this is where you communicate exactly what it is you are looking for.   
• Deadline: Provide extremely specific information about expectations, including the due date, what is expected, and who contributes.
• Clarifiers: Empower all sides to drill down for understanding, repeat what has been heard, and get alignment about expectations.

Once the vision and expectations are delivered and discussed, keep them alive by making them visible in ongoing ways. Empower autonomy by making the vision, strategic plan, and expectations easy to find and access. This might also mean incorporating the vision into daily memos, weekly meetings, quarterly calls, or company-wide rallying cries. The more and differently you communicate the same message, the more likely it will be heard, remembered, and acted upon. 

Clarity Requires Attention to Detail 

Unwinding poor work design can be complex. Like renovating a very old house, each attempted improvement can lead to the discovery of even more problems—all of which need to be addressed to properly do the work (and avoid costly fixes later!).

This means you have to pay attention. 

Repairing work processes that have evolved from a lack of clarity, like frequent task switching, isn’t easy. To get you off on the right foot, start with these three actions to begin to bring more clarity—and relief—to your people.

• Priority alignment. If any one person has more than three priorities, they can’t focus and might as well have no priorities at all. You’re doing it right when priorities echo across all teams.
• Key roles and responsibilities. Help your team know their key roles and responsibilities so there is zero ambiguity about what is expected from each.
• Have a meeting structure. Most people hate meetings because they lack structure, but well-run meetings make people feel supported and inspired.

Want to see how clear your priorities are in your organization? In your next meeting, ask everyone to state what their top priority is that week—and then discuss how (or if) it ties to the overall strategic vision. If anyone struggles, it’s a sign that there is work to be done. 

Start and End with Clarity

Clarity is the cornerstone of a productive and harmonious workplace. By ensuring both strategic and communication clarity, organizations can significantly reduce tension, conflict, and disengagement among their teams. Remember, clarity in purpose and expectations not only builds trust but also sets the foundation for effective communication, collaboration, and overall performance.

Reflect on your own workplace: Is there clarity of purpose in your team or organization? Are project expectations and deadlines communicated clearly? Do you have a clear understanding of your daily tasks?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, remember: We gravitate toward what we understand. Start by aligning priorities, defining key roles and responsibilities, and establishing a structured meeting routine. Clarity isn’t just about avoiding confusion; it’s about creating a work environment where everyone feels empowered, focused, and motivated.

Let’s clear the way forward together—one conversation at a time.  

Leaders who motivate and support their teams with clarity facilitate autonomy, agility, and authority. Our Trust Edge Certification Program gives you access to the tools, training, and a thriving community to help you build a culture of clarity. If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves, schedule a 15-minute discovery call now and become a member of our Trust Edge Certified Partner Directory.