[david_horsager]: Welcome to the Trusted Leader Show. it’s David Horsager and I have a special

[david_horsager]: guest. Thank you so much for being with our trust. The leaders, Stacy Hanke,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Oh my gosh, thank you. You know I love doing this. This is

[david_horsager]: Well,

[stacey_l_hanke]: great things for the opportunity.

[david_horsager]: absolutely, Stacey is the c. e O and founder of Stacy Hunky Inc. Her client

[david_horsager]: list is unbelievable. Everything from Microsoft to Milwaukee to Mcdonalds.

[david_horsager]: Just put those three Ms. in there Vanguard. She’s been on Tedex Fet and an

[david_horsager]: Fedex, Get little rhyme going here, Um, Oracle and Boeing. She’s brilliant

[david_horsager]: and she’s an expert on communicating with influence. There’s a lot of very

[david_horsager]: interesting overlap in our work to building trusted leaders. But before we

[david_horsager]: get there, Stacy has. Uh, she’s author of a great book. We’re going to talk

[david_horsager]: about what influence we defined Be the leader. You were meant to be Monday

[david_horsager]: to Monday. Stacey, thanks so much for being here just for everybody. Give us

[david_horsager]: a little inside scoop on something we don’t know about Stacey,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Well, well, first, you can introduce me any day with that with that kind of

[stacey_l_hanke]: introduction and enthusiasm. I think you know, and some people know this,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and some people don’t you know this because we have a very similar

[stacey_l_hanke]: background. I

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: always share. My upbringing really determines and shows that the level of

[stacey_l_hanke]: drive I have now running a company and that is growing up on a farm like

[stacey_l_hanke]: that’s so ingrained me and it’s kind of comical Davi. because growing up the

[stacey_l_hanke]: farm, I couldn’t wait to get off because it was so much work. And then you

[stacey_l_hanke]: know you decide to be an entrepreneur as if that’s any easier. But that’s

[stacey_l_hanke]: maybe

[david_horsager]: right,

[stacey_l_hanke]: like a little nugget of just really the core of who I am and what I’ve

[stacey_l_hanke]: created over here.

[david_horsager]: the farm girl from Wisconsin, and we’ve had Y out to our farm, and now

[david_horsager]: you’ve grown, grown, an amazing business, and it’s been fun. We’re a part of

[david_horsager]: a. I guess people would say, pretty a leader, unique, uh group of

[david_horsager]: entrepreneurs, a small group that. I’m grateful. That’s where I got to know

[david_horsager]: you. so

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: let’s move into this because you, uh, work with some amazing folks and help

[david_horsager]: them in amazing ways on communicating with influence. First of all you know,

[david_horsager]: let let’s talk about. I want to get into the book for a second, because

[david_horsager]: you’ve got this this model for uh, communicating with influence, And there

[david_horsager]: are three drivers you talk about feedback, deliberate practice and

[david_horsager]: accountability. I’m going to jump to the bottom of that accountability

[david_horsager]: because what we see a whole lot is people think they know what

[david_horsager]: accountability is and they don’t. I’ll go into companies. say. Oh, we got a

[david_horsager]: valuable accountability and and then they’ll be like Uh, I’ll say Well,

[david_horsager]: Well, how do you hold people accountable here? And like, Wow, you know

[david_horsager]: accountability stuff they don’t really know. So what does this mean? give us

[david_horsager]: a little overview of the model in our short time together and then let’s

[david_horsager]: touch on a tip for accountability.

[stacey_l_hanke]: okay, So the model to just give your listeners your follower as a visual. I

[stacey_l_hanke]: want them to imagine a triangle Right. And what David just talked about

[stacey_l_hanke]: feedback. deliberate practice, accountability. They sit around that triangle

[stacey_l_hanke]: and I really believe this is like a constant. Those three have to work

[stacey_l_hanke]: together to drive influence Monday to Monday, which we, we can get in that a

[stacey_l_hanke]: little later. So to get to accountability feedback. First of all, so many of

[stacey_l_hanke]: the leaders that we mentor will say we love you and you, we hate you. And

[stacey_l_hanke]: when I ask them well, let’s go to the hate part first. and they’re like

[stacey_l_hanke]: you’re the first person that really tells us the truth, and so many times

[stacey_l_hanke]: you can get this Probably with some of your clients, David. as you climb the

[stacey_l_hanke]: ladder. If you ask, how did I do? give me some feedback. We often hear.

[david_horsager]: Hm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: nice good

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: job. And and

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: they’re not confident to tell you. Well, you take two on to get to the

[stacey_l_hanke]: point. It’s hard to follow your message, whatever it is, so feedback is key

[stacey_l_hanke]: first to get to

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountability. You’ve got to make sure that the feedback is specific, So

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: you know what is working. What’s not? What do I do to get there?

[stacey_l_hanke]: It’s

[david_horsager]: feedback is so critical and I, I just have to yesterday. I was listening to

[david_horsager]: a podcast Global Leadership summit. Greg Rochelle was on and talking about

[david_horsager]: how they built this. You know, they have massive positive influence, but the

[david_horsager]: a culture of feedback. It’s so uncommon, Especially in certain cultures they

[david_horsager]: have you’. a big non profit where sometimes people can kind of be nice, and

[david_horsager]: we know about that. Even in Minnesota, it’s great to be kind, but kindness

[david_horsager]: is also telling the truth and making this place where it’s safe to

[stacey_l_hanke]: yeah, yes.

[stacey_l_hanke]: yeah. yeah,

[david_horsager]: give feedback that helps us be better.

[david_horsager]: give feedback that helps us be better.

[stacey_l_hanke]: And and then that’s half the problem right. A lot of my clients will say

[stacey_l_hanke]: You’re the really the first that has ever given us constructive feedback.

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Well then accountability though you first, you’ve got to have that

[stacey_l_hanke]: deliberate practice and

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: I, I’m I’m saying deliberate practice. I’m I’m here in Chicago and I always

[stacey_l_hanke]: share the story about Michael Jordan. If you haven’t seen his documentary

[stacey_l_hanke]: Last dance, it’s a good one to check out, and in the documentary he says he

[stacey_l_hanke]: did a thousand shots a day, six thousand a week. he goes on to say, What

[stacey_l_hanke]: gets rewarded in public gets practised in private.

[stacey_l_hanke]: No one is born as an influential leader. And and you, really, you have to

[stacey_l_hanke]: make the shots in anything in life if you want to change behavior. Well, if

[stacey_l_hanke]: you’ve got feedback and deliberate practice constantly driving each other,

[stacey_l_hanke]: the accountability is the big piece of it. Your’re listeners, your

[stacey_l_hanke]: followers, everyone around you can tell when you don’t hold yourself

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountable, And and David, you and I both know that what doesn’t get

[stacey_l_hanke]: measured, nothing’s going to happen. The

[david_horsager]: Mhm, Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountability is not the work I do with individuals. I always say I can’t

[stacey_l_hanke]: make your people do it. I can give them the tools and the best way to hold

[stacey_l_hanke]: yourself accountable in the work that I do. is we talk a lot about recording

[stacey_l_hanke]: yourself, similar to what were we’re doing right here together.

[david_horsager]: Mhm, Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Record yourself and start seeing yourself through the eyes and ears of your

[stacey_l_hanke]: listeners. But you have to do that on a weekly basis, especially initially

[stacey_l_hanke]: to just understand and give yourself feedback. That’s number one tipper on

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountability The second.

[stacey_l_hanke]: If you’ve got a front who runs with you every morning, and at five a m, they

[stacey_l_hanke]: are at your doorstep. You’re going to put your feet on the floor as well.

[stacey_l_hanke]: you’re You’re not going to stand bad. But if I don’t have an accountability

[stacey_l_hanke]: partner checking in with me on how I’m developing around how I’m

[stacey_l_hanke]: communicating, I’ll never do it. So it’s finding an accountability partner.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Maybe someone near personally from your professional life, that will be

[stacey_l_hanke]: honest with you. Tell you the truth of what you want to be told, and then on

[stacey_l_hanke]: a regular basis,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and I think that’s

[david_horsager]: I want to make

[stacey_l_hanke]: the piece where people don’t th it. It’s you have to be accountable to even

[stacey_l_hanke]: do those two

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountability steps.

[david_horsager]: I think it’s interesting. I think I read this. This was the a big study by

[david_horsager]: the Association of talent development, and they found basically ten percent

[david_horsager]: of people that have goals accomplish them

[david_horsager]: of those that have goals with an accountability partner that they meet

[david_horsager]: without a specific time. It jumps up to ninety five percent.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah, yeah,

[david_horsager]: It’s ridiculous and with yeah,

[stacey_l_hanke]: I totally believe it, and we, and we can track that you know. I, I’ve shared

[stacey_l_hanke]: with you before that we do research. We partner with the social research

[stacey_l_hanke]: lab. I know you. you’ve worked with them too before out of Northern Co.

[stacey_l_hanke]: University of Northern Colorado, and the research that we sh, showed or

[stacey_l_hanke]: proved through that was exactly the same thing. If we had the leader of the

[stacey_l_hanke]: team that we were training, go through our workshop and we would check six

[stacey_l_hanke]: months to a year after the accountability was still there. If the leader

[stacey_l_hanke]: didn’t go through the training that would strap. almost fifty percent. half

[stacey_l_hanke]: of the group was still working on what we recommend at the other half, and

[stacey_l_hanke]: when we went back to ask what they’re saying, Well, no one. really. I had no

[stacey_l_hanke]: one to report into. I had no one hold myself accountable. Now. I can push

[stacey_l_hanke]: back on that because you’re still. You’re You’re the one that can only hold

[stacey_l_hanke]: yourself accountable, But we get life gets in the way things get in the way.

[stacey_l_hanke]: and when I’m saying accountability partners the best people to tell you the

[stacey_l_hanke]: truth are people in your personal life. Hey,

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: we’ve all been spending two years with our families, Perhaps very. In close

[stacey_l_hanke]: quarters we’ve created our only our only rework sessions, right, a

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: co, co, sharing space, asking them to give you that honest feedback, but

[david_horsager]: Mhm, Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: to do it in the moment though two d da, you know Th. If if you

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and I were just on this call and I wanted you to give me feedback, you’

[stacey_l_hanke]: accountability partner, I would say to you here’. What I want to work on.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Would you jump in every time I go off track? and that

[david_horsager]: Hm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: just takes feedback to. interactive coaching is what I refer to. That takes

[stacey_l_hanke]: it to a whole new level?

[david_horsager]: here’s what I want to work on. Hey, can you help me with this? I

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: could see that working. I could see that telling my teenagers that and

[david_horsager]: saying Hey, you guys help me with this.

[stacey_l_hanke]: and they will love

[david_horsager]: They. they’re happy to help.

[stacey_l_hanke]: yet. and that’s where I love family members, friends, because they can give

[stacey_l_hanke]: you feedback in the moment. Now. If it is something

[david_horsager]: Yep,

[stacey_l_hanke]: like this call where you really cannot or I can’t interactively coach you

[stacey_l_hanke]: during this recording before we hop down, we could have said to each other

[stacey_l_hanke]: All right, Here’s what I’m working on. Would you watch and listen for that

[stacey_l_hanke]: and then after the

[david_horsager]: Hm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: recording, let’s just take two minutes. I’m not asking people to

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: carve out more time in their day. You. You’re talking all the time anyway.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Now just puts strategy put purpose around every interaction that you have.

[david_horsager]: there’s a whole lot more here. I

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: love the framework. The book is called Influence Redefined. We’re going to

[david_horsager]: put all this in the show notes. trusted leaders, Uh, trusted leader show,

[david_horsager]: Dot Com, trust leader show, almost said, Trust the leaders, Sumit dot com.

[david_horsager]: That’s coming up. Our summit is coming up quickly, and um, but trust the

[david_horsager]: leader. show Dot com. put all the show notes, and uh where they can find out

[david_horsager]: about you before we uh, move too far from this thought, though, Want to jump

[david_horsager]: over to something that people are talking a lot about today, And that is how

[david_horsager]: do I just build influence? Especially virtually. I mean we still have

[david_horsager]: people. Uh, they are going to be in virtual for a long time. How? what? Or?

[david_horsager]: or maybe I? I know you’ve written on and talked about. What are the mistakes

[david_horsager]: people are making as they try to build influence virtually or in person?

[stacey_l_hanke]: how much time do you? Yeah, how much time do you have?

[david_horsager]: Yeah, let’s go give us.

[stacey_l_hanke]: No?

[david_horsager]: Yeah.

[stacey_l_hanke]: And and it’s it’s more. we don’t realize. I think we have forgotten David

[stacey_l_hanke]: that this is still work. You’re still

[david_horsager]: yeah,

[stacey_l_hanke]: building a personal brand and you’d be shocked the amount of people that I’m

[stacey_l_hanke]: working with that will show up and I’m thinking would you ever have a

[stacey_l_hanke]: conference room in your bedroom? Come on, you’ve you’ve had two years.

[stacey_l_hanke]: You’ve got to make a change. So the first thing that my team and I did when

[stacey_l_hanke]: this all went down and we went into lock down, I said to them, We’re in a

[stacey_l_hanke]: brainstorm. What do we do in person? What is the experience our clients have

[stacey_l_hanke]: with us in person? And how can we build that experience here as well? So one

[stacey_l_hanke]: people want to just take a step back and think about how do you interact

[stacey_l_hanke]: with in person? You maybe look people dead in the eyes. Maybe you use

[stacey_l_hanke]: gestures. you don’t use gures. If you just think about how you behave in

[stacey_l_hanke]: person. The idea is how you create influence. Virtual is to give your

[stacey_l_hanke]: listener the feeling as if you’re sitting in the same room with them. So we

[stacey_l_hanke]: give you just one tip. You notice how much of me you can see today, and and

[stacey_l_hanke]: I’ll just

[david_horsager]: mhm.

[stacey_l_hanke]: mess around here a little bit. I have a stand up desk. but I always tease

[stacey_l_hanke]: individuals, David. because I’m like, Why would you put your head on A? You

[stacey_l_hanke]: would never sit this way right. So it’s it’s the. It’s the small things like

[stacey_l_hanke]: if your camera is not set upwards, I love when you just lock

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and load with that listener. Everything else is going to go out the window

[stacey_l_hanke]: and and here’s

[david_horsager]: for those that aren’t watching you just listening, You just went. She looks

[david_horsager]: great when she’ got the camera at I level. And you’re seeing about a little

[david_horsager]: more of you. Is what your showing so that you can have arm gestures

[stacey_l_hanke]: yeah. See what I’m doing.

[david_horsager]: and your backed up just slightly, But but you’re not looking down at the

[david_horsager]: camera? you’re not looking up at it. You looking eye level perfect,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah, or you’re not spending the time with your monitor. Or

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: as if people can’t tell your checking email.

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: I’ll have the. The email from their laptop will reflect off their glasses.

[stacey_l_hanke]: David. and like, come on, I see what you’re doing. So I thing. We just need

[stacey_l_hanke]: to take a step back and say every way we behave in person. it needs to be

[stacey_l_hanke]: here too, Because if you mess with this and how you connect

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and you engage with people in your level of energy or lack of energy, and

[stacey_l_hanke]: then you’re

[david_horsager]: Mhm, Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: in person and people are like Woe. you’re two different people. Now you

[stacey_l_hanke]: in person and people are like Woe. you’re two different people. Now you

[stacey_l_hanke]: start to impact the trust, So the biggest mistakes is the set up, David. the

[stacey_l_hanke]: start to impact the trust, So the biggest mistakes is the set up, David. the

[stacey_l_hanke]: lack of brevity.

[stacey_l_hanke]: lack of brevity.

[stacey_l_hanke]: I, I’d like to raise the question of do you we have? we have ▁z fatigue.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Because meetings are in’tffective and that’s what’s causing ▁zoom fatigue.

[stacey_l_hanke]: And and and don’t be the one that leads an ineffective Meeting the eyes is

[stacey_l_hanke]: the big one where we just

[david_horsager]: Mhm, Mhm, Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: we. We don’t know where to look and we, we’re having

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: conversations with everyone else besides who we’re supposed to connect with,

[stacey_l_hanke]: So you miss reading your listeners.

[david_horsager]: Hm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: So it’s the. The brevity is the big one.

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[david_horsager]: Anything else? Having engaging to engaging people online, How to to to

[david_horsager]: increase my employe You got a lot of ideas. What are some others?

[stacey_l_hanke]: Like what we’re doing,

[stacey_l_hanke]: you talk. let them talk. I am be with open ended questions, and I always

[stacey_l_hanke]: tell anyone that if people aren’t used to me and we’re we’re getting on a a

[stacey_l_hanke]: team sales pitch. for example, sales call,

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: and within the first two minutes I’m calling someone out because I want them

[stacey_l_hanke]: to feel

[david_horsager]: Hm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: like Wa. K. She’s not going to just lecture to us and give her

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: our pitch, but she is really going to make us do the majority that you’re

[stacey_l_hanke]: talking. and as the

[david_horsager]: What’s the favorite question?

[david_horsager]: Open ended,

[stacey_l_hanke]: what it, what is your biggest challenge that your’re seeing your listeners

[stacey_l_hanke]: are experiencing in this virtual space.

[stacey_l_hanke]: And then after you ask that question, David, you learn to outpause everyone

[stacey_l_hanke]: on that call because someone one will get uncomfortable and start in. And

[stacey_l_hanke]: what you’re doing. You’re creating the behavior Right how we show up. Every

[stacey_l_hanke]: interaction will either enhance or jeopardize the reputation we’re trying to

[stacey_l_hanke]: create. The good news is, every interaction is an opportunity to practe what

[stacey_l_hanke]: do you want to improve, because we’re here so often throughout the day. The

[stacey_l_hanke]: interaction though is the key is, and I’m not saying, go into your chat. I’m

[stacey_l_hanke]: saying, Talk to people. Call them out, David. What’s your thought around

[stacey_l_hanke]: this process? How should we move forward,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Because if you do it with

[david_horsager]: M.

[stacey_l_hanke]: one person,

[stacey_l_hanke]: suddenly, everyone else on the call is thinking, shiny object, I am next.

[stacey_l_hanke]: There’s a good chance I want to be called on and it’s magic how it works.

[david_horsager]: Well, you, you said something before we talk about this.

[david_horsager]: There’s I want you to get at this for our listeners. Why most people believe

[david_horsager]: they have more influence than they actually have.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah, it goes back to the feedback and so many times individuals will say to

[stacey_l_hanke]: me Well, I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been in this position

[stacey_l_hanke]: for a long time. I. I communicate every day when I know what to say. I. I, I

[stacey_l_hanke]: feel confident,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Title and our feeling doesn’t guarantee the level of influence that we have.

[stacey_l_hanke]: I’ve I’ve worked with C e Os, whose assistances are more influential than

[stacey_l_hanke]: they are. And keep in mind you know C e O gets that point and no one really

[stacey_l_hanke]: gives them constructive feedback any morere We go off a feeling rather than

[stacey_l_hanke]: fact, And this whole idea of you know re recording yourself in your phone.

[stacey_l_hanke]: This is fact. This is the eyes and ears of your listeners and David. I still

[stacey_l_hanke]: think this is more powerful than you and I seeing each other on screen, or

[stacey_l_hanke]: when people

[david_horsager]: Mhm.

[stacey_l_hanke]: are on ▁zoom. There, there’s still

[david_horsager]: Y.

[stacey_l_hanke]: something about seeing yourself in action. So the why we think we’re more

[stacey_l_hanke]: influential? We’re not getting the feedback we need. We. we never practice.

[stacey_l_hanke]: When was the last thing time you really thought about? Oh, wonder what my my

[stacey_l_hanke]: hands are doing. Wonder what my eyes are doing. We, most of the time we

[stacey_l_hanke]: don’t think that way. And if we’re doing ▁zoom after ▁zoom, it’s I’ve got to

[stacey_l_hanke]: get this meeting out. I’ve got to cram this information down their throat.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Good, I’m onto the next one. and the second is we. We just we’re not seeing

[stacey_l_hanke]: ourselves on through the eyes and ears of our listeners. We’re just not

[stacey_l_hanke]: doing the accountability behind judging how much Te. not judging really

[stacey_l_hanke]: measuring how much influence we really have.

[david_horsager]: So we needed accountability partner. We need to get feedback. How do we do

[david_horsager]: this? You talk a lot in other scenarios or other settings. I haveve heard

[david_horsager]: you on this Monday to Monday. It’s part of who you are and your company is

[david_horsager]: this consistencyece. Of course, the eighth cllor of trust is consistency. We

[david_horsager]: called the ▁queen and King of the Pill. talk to me about this idea of Monday

[david_horsager]: to Monday.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah, Yeah, we do. you and I have so much crossover. We. we’ve talked about

[stacey_l_hanke]: this be before, an a reference to your material Often because it’s idea of

[stacey_l_hanke]: trust, so it ties also to Monday to Monday. It’s twofold

[stacey_l_hanke]: how you experience me here, David. And and you’ve been with me in person, is

[stacey_l_hanke]: pretty much how I am in person, correct, I mean, I’m not. I’m not trying to

[david_horsager]: Yesm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: be something different here than I in person. So now with all the mediums

[stacey_l_hanke]: virtual, in person, high bred. And and how I define highbred, You’re talking

[stacey_l_hanke]: to a live audience and people virtually all the same time, right, or you’re

[stacey_l_hanke]: hanging out with friends and family, versus with C workers. There’s this

[stacey_l_hanke]: level of

[stacey_l_hanke]: y. You can’t be all distracted with your family all week Andd long, and then

[stacey_l_hanke]: suddenly Monday morning you’ve got a ▁zoomon. You’re like, Oh, okay, I’m

[stacey_l_hanke]: going to be a different person. That’s what I mean. And and I’m not saying

[stacey_l_hanke]: you have to be perfect. A perfect communicator. Be conscious of how do you

[stacey_l_hanke]: show up. Is your brand consistent? Or do people have to guess who’s going to

[stacey_l_hanke]: show up? Cameron, Camera off in person, not in person. That’s one side of

[stacey_l_hanke]: it. The other side of Monday to Monday is again the behavior.

[stacey_l_hanke]: So how I behave is always consistent every day of the week.

[stacey_l_hanke]: So once you th think like, let’s go back to Michael Jordan, or you could

[stacey_l_hanke]: take a A a Gulf. For example, why do you think golf is so hard if you don’t

[stacey_l_hanke]: hold yourself accountable and practe every core element to that skill of

[stacey_l_hanke]: golf?

[stacey_l_hanke]: And however, a golfer practices Monday through Friday Is how they’re going

[stacey_l_hanke]: to perform on Saturday? I mean so relevant. Now, if any onee’s watching the

[stacey_l_hanke]: Olympics, imagine the hours these folks have put in the difference between

[stacey_l_hanke]: us and an olympian. Every day in the corporate world is game day, because

[stacey_l_hanke]: your name is on everything that you do. The good news is every time you turn

[stacey_l_hanke]: that camera on, every time you you interact with someone. you’ve got an

[stacey_l_hanke]: opportunity to practice And just think about how are you coming across until

[stacey_l_hanke]: you form the new behavior that you want to put your name on to it.

[david_horsager]: one one more tip here on influence. We’ all trying to influence. We have our

[david_horsager]: own reasons. we want to influence. Because we care about a mission. We care

[david_horsager]: about the difference we make. we care about changing the world. We care

[david_horsager]: about raising good kids. we care about. We all know why influence. You know.

[david_horsager]: we want to be influential. Hopefully for good. What’s another tip? How can

[david_horsager]: we be a little bit better at influencing in our space?

[stacey_l_hanke]: The Other one we really haven’t talked aboutcause. We talked a lot about

[stacey_l_hanke]: behavior. Let’s

[david_horsager]: Mhm,

[stacey_l_hanke]: just switch to messaging because I define influence, body language and

[stacey_l_hanke]: messaging their consistent Monday to Monday from a messaging standpoint. I

[stacey_l_hanke]: talk a lot about identifying your listeners.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Why why should they care? Why did? Why did they come on a call with you? Why

[stacey_l_hanke]: is this important to them? And how many times do we get on meetings and they

[stacey_l_hanke]: start this way. Thanks for coming on coming on the meeting. I know you guys

[stacey_l_hanke]: are all busy. What I would like to talk about to day is, I believe I think

[stacey_l_hanke]: here’s what I think we should do. So much of our conversation is us focused

[stacey_l_hanke]: versus let’s take a step back and focus on your listeners, wife. first,

[stacey_l_hanke]: how you do that throughout the conversation And this is also part of trust.

[stacey_l_hanke]: using that pause not just to communicate with brevity, but using that pause

[stacey_l_hanke]: to constantly adapt your message on the flight. I mean, and give me example.

[stacey_l_hanke]: I’m I’m working with a comedian right now, Just says as as a coach, and and

[stacey_l_hanke]: helping me right. So he’s on like the big stages we were coaching last week

[stacey_l_hanke]: And he said He, You know comedians, what they call The pause. They say, It’s

[stacey_l_hanke]: pause for the cause.

[stacey_l_hanke]: he said, When a comedian pauses, they’re doing it on purpose right because

[stacey_l_hanke]: it’s right after a punch line and that gives your audience the experience of

[stacey_l_hanke]: the laughter. That that’s why we watch comedians for the experience, he

[stacey_l_hanke]: said, If a comedian doesn’t pause after that punch line, they now are

[stacey_l_hanke]: stepping on the laughter and I

[david_horsager]: Mhm.

[stacey_l_hanke]: came back and said Tom David. I’m like, Oh, I go. that’s what I’m talking to

[stacey_l_hanke]: my clients. Don’t step on your ideas

[stacey_l_hanke]: and don’t step on your listener’s ideas. And that’s what happens if we

[stacey_l_hanke]: constantly are going and talking a Ma a minute and really honoring that

[stacey_l_hanke]: silence, so that when you’re silent you’re listening for what is really

[stacey_l_hanke]: important to these folks. What do I need to say? How can I adapt my message

[stacey_l_hanke]: on the fly to make sure that they feel like I’m communicating with empathy,

[stacey_l_hanke]: listening to what’s important to them to get them to the solution

[stacey_l_hanke]: that’s going to influence that action.

[stacey_l_hanke]: And and that’s a lot of focus, right? I mean we. we just don’t we want to do

[stacey_l_hanke]: all the talking. I always encourage you to take about twenty five percent

[stacey_l_hanke]: out of that conversation. Put it into their lap. And it’s so much easier

[stacey_l_hanke]: too, because you’re busy just absorbing everything that they’re saying to

[stacey_l_hanke]: help let your listener help you

[stacey_l_hanke]: create your conversation on the fly.

[david_horsager]: this is critical. You know, we talk about this with our, with our trustage,

[david_horsager]: facilitators or partners. Every time we’re talking about anything, whether

[david_horsager]: it’s the case for trust or the pillars or whatever at the end section’.

[david_horsager]: Thinking, what does this mean to them?

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: Because that reframes how we teach or train or equip or coach or consult on

[david_horsager]: anything. What does this mean to them?

[stacey_l_hanke]: right,

[david_horsager]: So I love this idea of getting pausing. and looking back, I love two sides

[david_horsager]: of this. of course, the pause for the cause, but this starting with what’s

[david_horsager]: the? What’s what did they want? Because we can, you know we can’t give With

[david_horsager]: they want up. We don’t even know right.

[stacey_l_hanke]: yeah, yeah.

[david_horsager]: We don’t pause and think about it instead of just giving what we want so

[david_horsager]: great ideas here, Stacey. Work can people find out more about you?

[stacey_l_hanke]: right, on our website, and there’s all of our social media handlers handles,

[stacey_l_hanke]: so that we are always com constantly pushing resources out there so you can

[stacey_l_hanke]: latch on to whatever you need, Go to our website, Stacy with an e, y, h, a

[stacey_l_hanke]: n, k, e, i, n c, dot com.

[david_horsager]: And there’s a load of complimentary content that you give away, and a load

[david_horsager]: of ways you help people that want to be more influential on the stage as

[david_horsager]: coaches as sales leaders. Final question,

[david_horsager]: it’s the Trusted leader show. So we always end with this.

[david_horsager]: Who is the leader you trust And

[david_horsager]: whym?

[stacey_l_hanke]: I know you. You might not be expecting this, my dad,

[stacey_l_hanke]: truly, my dad, and and I, I reflect back to the the little things that he

[stacey_l_hanke]: would give to my sisters and I growing up. When he said it, I thought it’s

[stacey_l_hanke]: crazy. What is this going to do my life right and a lot of it was. You would

[stacey_l_hanke]: always say, Follow through. If you follow through what you said you’re going

[stacey_l_hanke]: to do, you’ll be the top one per cent. And remember hearing that thinking

[stacey_l_hanke]: that’s not hard or he would always, and that came through with everything

[stacey_l_hanke]: right. So follow through the other thing that he always said, Just such

[stacey_l_hanke]: common sense that we all need to today, especially he always said, Be kind,

[stacey_l_hanke]: no matter who it is, and when I was in grade school, you always said Be kind

[stacey_l_hanke]: of janitor. Did you say hello to the janitor day?

[stacey_l_hanke]: And it’s it’s those. I think. It’s just the little things in life that if

[stacey_l_hanke]: these last two years have proven anything, it’s go back to your basics, but

[stacey_l_hanke]: commit to it and just be consistent by figuring out how do you want others

[stacey_l_hanke]: to perceive you, and then you’ll you’ll figure out the level of influence

[stacey_l_hanke]: you have or what you need to do to have more influence. If that’s the case,

[david_horsager]: my too. talk,

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: J. you

[david_horsager]: know just what we’re talking here. You made me think of something. my f. f.

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah, I shouldn’t leave my mom out right, but my mom won’t see this.

[david_horsager]: I’t Well, we both do, my mommy’s sake. go the extra mile. Other people don’t

[david_horsager]: go there. Anybody can do it halfway, Go the extra mile

[stacey_l_hanke]: Yeah,

[david_horsager]: so anyway, Well, you can see all the showoes at Trusted Leader show Dot com.

[david_horsager]: This has been a treat,

[stacey_l_hanke]: thank

[david_horsager]: Stacy to have you on and I just thank you. Thanks for be my friend. Thanks

[david_horsager]: for

[stacey_l_hanke]: you, you, too.

[david_horsager]: being such a an influential leader in this world To so many This has been

[david_horsager]: the Trusted Leader Show. Until next time, Stay trusted.